Monday, December 29, 2008

Getting By

That’s what I’m doing. Many people have asked me how the holidays were for our family. My answer - both good and bad. On Christmas Eve my family (the Coopers) came over early in the day and we had an enjoyable time, as soon as they all left we headed off to church. That was pretty hard, Josh was with us and of course Christy should have been. Then when we left there it was off to Jim and Lori’s for their open house, which was also sort of okay for me.

Then we went home, this is when things began to fall apart for me. For the past several years we have opened our gifts on Christmas Eve after the Barkley’s shindig. This year when we all got home and declared it was time to open presents Josh said, “Okay, everybody take your normal places.” That’s when it hit me. Every year each of us always sat in the same spot to open our gifts, I’d never realized that before. But as Christy’s spot on the couch next to Josh sat empty, my heart began to cry. You see, she would have been the one sitting there ready to wet her pants with excitement. Not for the items in the packages, but for the love that went into selecting each item for each person. Her excitement was always more for the gifts she had carefully and thoughtfully selected for each one of us, rather than for the ones she received. But once we got into the opening and laughing it got a little better.

Christmas Day was pretty hard too, there was definitely an absence hanging in the air. Josh went off to have breakfast with the Price family, which I’m sure was terribly difficult for him. We slept in then got up and readied for Christmas pizza with the Barkley’s. Once Jim, Lori and the girls got there so did the very obvious absence. We opened gifts again. Christy had actually purchased two Christmas gifts prior to her death, one lovingly chosen for Lori the other for Brynn. It was so hard to see Brynn open her package knowing that Christy had chosen it but she wasn’t there to see Brynn’s sweet little face as she opened it. We had actually given Lori’s to her just after Christy’s passing, which I’m so thankful for because our precious Lori would have cried her eyes out opening the gift Christy had herself selected, which would not have been good for me. Then Josh, Lori and I went to the cemetery in the afternoon. Not exactly how I wanted to spend Christmas with my daughter.

We went to the senior Wells house that evening for more gift exchange and more obvious absence. Then thankfully, Christmas was over! However, my major breakdown came the next day while showering. I started crying the minute I stepped into the shower and just could not get a grip, it was the biggest breakdown I’ve had to date.

Today, I’m back at work and hopefully things will get back to........ whatever, I can’t say normal anymore – life will never be normal for me again.

Thanks for checking up on us. Keep praying, we keep needing it. I will do a post later this week about Christy’s Stocking.

Love,
Julie

Monday, December 15, 2008

Gods Revelation To Me

The following is from the second chapter of Luke (NIV) …
(Pay special attention to the last sentence.)

25Now there was a man in Jerusalem called Simeon, who was righteous and devout. He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was upon him. 26It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not die before he had seen the Lord's Christ. 27Moved by the Spirit, he went into the temple courts. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to do for him what the custom of the Law required, 28Simeon took him in his arms and praised God, saying:
29"Sovereign Lord, as you have promised,
you now dismiss[d] your servant in peace.
30For my eyes have seen your salvation,
31which you have prepared in the sight of all people,
32a light for revelation to the Gentiles
and for glory to your people Israel."
33The child's father and mother marveled at what was said about him. 34Then Simeon blessed them and said to Mary, his mother: "This child is destined to cause the falling and rising of many in Israel, and to be a sign that will be spoken against, 35so that the thoughts of many hearts will be revealed. And a sword will pierce your own soul too."

In my last post I said that “my very soul misses my girl.”

These verses from the 2nd chapter of Luke are about Simeon and what he said to Mary when he had blessed her and Joseph shortly after the birth of Jesus. He told her that her son would be pierced when he said “And a sword will pierce your own soul too.” God was telling Mary that the loss of her child would be piercing to her soul, and with including this in His Word, he has told this to all mothers who suffer such loss. I truly believe it was no accident that we studied these verses this past Sunday in life group. God is telling me that my own soul is pierced, there is now a hole there and that is why my very soul is missing my girl so desperately.

I'm praying for a band aid for my hole, but I also pray that I'm not totally healed until He calls me home.

Pierced, but not shattered,
Julie

Friday, December 12, 2008

I Miss Christy!

This isn’t just being sad and grieving over her death, which is bad enough on it’s own. I miss her being here with us. Last night we had dinner with Josh, which was lovely, but Christy should have been there too. When I went to bed I felt a physical ache from not seeing her. My very soul misses my girl.

Her absence is most obvious when we’re all together. It’s all the boys and me. It used to be the boys sitting on the couch watching whatever sport happened to be on, and seriously it could have been a game that was actually played 20 years ago and they are yelling at the screen like it’s live television, while Christy and I were either in the kitchen talking or in my bedroom on the bed talking. I have a physical ache for her. I need to see her, to hear her, to touch her.

Please keep praying for me.

Missing Christy even more,
Julie

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Holidays

On the grief board I visit they call them hellidays. Now, that’s kind of funny to me but I can’t bring myself to call Christmas a helliday. It’s the day we celebrate the birth of our Savior and that’s just not appropriate, nor does it express how I feel. Last Friday was however, a hell of a day. Thanksgiving was okay, even good really. Normally my whole family comes to my house for Thanksgiving but since this year is anything but normal, we changed things up a little. We all went to Robbie and Barbara’s and had a really good time. In the evening the four of us went to Jimmy & Ruthie’s and a good time was had there as well. We were stuffed and tired by the end of the day.

Then came black Friday, and black it was! I always spend the day after Thanksgiving putting out our Christmas decorations, and this year was no exception. Many people don’t celebrate Christmas at all after a loss, but I just couldn’t let this holiday pass unnoticed. Christmas was Christy’s absolute favorite time of year. She LOVED every day from Thanksgiving Day to New Year’s Day. She loved the decorations, the sights and smells that meant Christmas and being with family. She would be very disappointed in us if we let this season pass without celebrating. So, to honor her and to celebrate as a family (hurting though we are), I climbed up the attic stairs and threw down box after box.

Chris’ decorating job is the outside of the house, and a fine job he does! I decided to start with the tree this year, usually I do it last. So Josh and I drag the monster out and get started. The tree was the hardest thing I’ve done since Christy’s funeral. The ornaments were the worst of all, so many memories in that one box. Josh and I spent much of the time talking of various things about Christy. It was hard, but it was also good for us. Once the tree was up and the lights were on he left. He didn’t want to stick around for the ornaments, I can’t really blame him. It took me two full days to get everything done and normally I finish in one day. I’m not sure if it’s my age creeping up on me, the sadness that overwhelmed me or both that made it take longer than normal. But our house is now fully decorated.

I hope I’m up to making candy this year. I’ve gone back and forth on the issue but I did buy a ton of containers, so hopefully I will be able. I have to make lists of everything I want to do, if not then I just don’t do them. Why is it that a list motivates me?

We already have lots of donations to Christy’s stocking, I’m so thrilled!!!!!!! It’s so fun to watch her stocking fill up. I know this little project would make her so happy.

Thanks for checking up on us. Please keep praying for us daily as we make our way through this beautiful but difficult holiday season.

Remembering Christmases’ past,
Julie

Monday, December 1, 2008

Monday, 12-01-08

I had planned a post today but after reading Josh's post I'm emotionally unable. Please pray for me as this is getting harder. I have no clue how I'm going to survive this month.

Empty,
Julie

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving

Last Sunday night we had our church Thanksgiving dinner. Pastor David asked us to share amongst our table what we were thankful for. I couldn’t even open my mouth. Not that I’m not thankful, I am, I just couldn’t bring myself to say out loud that I am thankful. I guess right now I feel like I should be consumed with sorrow, who am I kidding, I am consumed with sorrow. Anyway, I do have a lot to be thankful for so I thought I would share my list with you.


I am thankful that Jesus paid the price for me. That He took my place. That He saved a wretch like me.

I am thankful for a husband who adores me, in spite of my shortcomings.

I am thankful for a son who loves Jesus. He also loves his momma!

I am thankful for a son-in-law who loves my daughter more than I could ever have hoped for.

I am thankful for an extended family who loves me. I had gotten to a place where I wondered if they did (my own ignorance, not theirs) but they have shown me just how very much they do.

I am thankful for friends who love me and are always there for me when I need, or just want, someone to talk to.

I am thankful for a daughter who taught me how to live in spite of pain and suffering.

I am thankful for the love that I feel everyday from a whole host of people.

This Thanksgiving is going to be a very sad one, but I still have much to be thankful for.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Christy's Stocking

I sent the following e-mail today to everyone I know. But just in case you missed it I'm posting it here, minus our address.


Dear Friends,



As the Christmas season approaches our hearts are still broken. We can hardly think of celebrating the birth of our Savior without Christy, yet we certainly will. We couldn’t dream of letting this season pass without celebrating our Lord. However, we are faced with a difficult decision, what to do with Christy’s stocking. You see, even though our kids are grown they still receive a stocking filled to the brim every year. So this year we’ve come up with a plan to fill Christy’s stocking and we’re asking for your help.



As many of you know, when Christy was a child we spent countless days that sometimes stretched into weeks and even months at Children’s Hospital. Those times were financially draining on our little family. Thankfully we had a wonderful extended family that helped us through those difficult times but many people face these times alone, without family to lean on. That’s where you come in. We have already been in touch with Amy at the Children’s Miracle Network to set our plan in motion. We are seeking gift cards of any kind that might help a family in need. You could purchase restaurant cards (fast food is great), cards for gasoline, even Wal-Mart of Kroger cards would be wonderful. Also, to help brighten the day for the children we are asking for all types of children’s books.



I can just see Christy’s stocking totally overloaded with items! (I promise pictures after Christmas.) If you would like to donate you can either mail your items, drop them off at our house, or give us a call/e-mail and one of us will gladly pick your items up. We hope to make this a wonderful blessing for many families, please consider helping a family who is already suffering. Our hearts will hurt this Christmas, but we will take joy in knowing that Christy is still touching the lives of so many.



Feel free to forward this to anyone you think might be interested in helping with this project.



Happy holidays to each of you and may God bless you,



Chris, Julie, Josh & Kyle

Thursday, November 13, 2008

More Randomness

The past two days were hard. I’m sure Tuesday was hard because it was the one month anniversary but I have no clue why yesterday was so bad. Aren’t anniversaries supposed to be celebrations? I suppose I will be counting them off in months until I’m able to count them in years. The thoughts of that make me want to scream, literally.

My man is awesome! I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful he is. He has certainly been my rock. God brought him to us at the perfect time. In time to grow a beautiful relationship with my girl, to love her as his own, and in time to be here for me in the most difficult days of my life. I can’t begin to tell you how much love and respect I have for him. I’m very blessed!

I miss Josh. He’s coming home on Monday and I can’t wait. Though for him I’m sad. I know that he wants to come home so that he can face his grief, but the thoughts of that make me sad for him. He’s been able to somewhat escape, though I’m sure that Christy is in his mind always. Part of me wishes he could press the easy button and continue with his life, while the other part of me wants him to hold on to Christy forever. When will he be able to move on? Not quickly enough, but also far too quickly at the same time. I worry about our relationship with him. I know that Josh loves us but at some point he’s gonna need to move on. I would never dream of holding him back, I love him too much for that. I know that Christy loved him too much for that.

I’m worried about my boy. Kyle always wants to be funny, he’s been the class clown since he was little. Of course, there is no humor in our current circumstance. I wish he could open up and share but he’s not really one to do that. I’m praying that maybe he will open up with Josh when he gets back.

My heart misses Christy. I think about her constantly. For the past few months, because of her broken knee, she and I got to spend much precious time together, which I am SO VERY grateful for. But that doesn’t really make me feel much better now. Right now what I want is to crawl into bed with her and Max for a Sunday afternoon nap. I want to hear her funny little snoring sounds as she sleeps. I want to stroke her hair and take in her smell. I want to hug her, to kiss her again. I want to hear her voice and see that bright smile. I want to see Jack jump for joy when you say, “Christy’s here!” And I want to hear the excitement in her voice when she says, “Jackie Doodle!” Oh, how my heart cries for these things.

There are split seconds when I forget. Watching Dancing with the Stars is hard. Christy loved that show and would call me during every commercial break to either ask what I thought about whoever just danced, or to complain that Cloris Leachman was still there. Every now and then when I’m watching and they go to a commercial I think the phone is gonna ring. One time it did and for a split second I thought, “Oh, that’s Christy.” Those times are hard.

I want to dream about Christy!!!! I have not had one dream about her. Why? I’m having some wacky crazy dreams though. I’m dreaming mostly of past times. Not things we actually did but my dreams are taking place in the past. Weird! They are mostly from the time Christy was between about 7 and 10 years old. What I want is to have happy dreams about her. I have actually had dreams about my mom though, which I have previously done only rarely.

I’ve been writing Thank You cards, that’s a daunting task. It’s taken me this long just to talk myself into doing it. Everything I write sounds stupid to me. How do you thank people in a way that really expresses how much you appreciate them? For the most part I think that words fall short of what I feel. Hopefully everyone will know how much their kindness has meant to us.

This post has gotten far too long and I’ve got much to do.

Remembering my girl,
Julie

Friday, November 7, 2008

Sharing

I have been visiting a board dedicated to grief, in particular I've been on a thread for parents who have lost teen or adult children. Today one of my board buddies posted the following. She gave me permission to share it on my blog. The board is private so I am unable to give her credit for it so I would ask that you not copy it. I found this to be simply beautiful.



I wake to the chill of a new day.
The cold of night has etched the corners of my window.
The transformation of last night’s rain still falls in weighted elegance
and blankets what is left of fall’s remains.
The beauty of the frozen rain solidified into playful droplets of white that fills my mind with the wonderment of the season beginning.
In last night’s rain the trees shown bare of leaves, ugly in their nakedness.
Now the morning snow clothes and defines every branch, revealing the graceful brilliance and enduring strength that I dismissed in the absence of their fruit.
Am I the tree once graced with the beauty of life?
I swayed in the wind, cast shadows of fullness on the ground.
Did others see me as alive and brilliant with my colored branches extending and reaching for the light of the new day?
When the leaves fell from my branches and the coolness of my autumn gave way to deaths dark hand, do I look as barren and naked as the tree I condemned to ugliness?
Does my grief leave me barren and lifeless casting a shadow of solitude, thin in
proportion of my former self?
Or somehow with the frozen grace of the night, can hope fall on my desolate limbs defining my beauty and strength as I bravely face the season of quiet.

A snowflake falls in unison with its companions. It is not alone but it is unique in its shape and form. Carved from the same beginning but bringing a uniqueness that speaks of its individual expression. The love that we have shared with our child now lost from this earth, is frozen in heaven’s grace.
Forged from the same maker, it falls around us in quiet gentle individuality.
I capture each flake from my love and the angels I have been blessed to take communion with, on my naked branch. The beauty of my structure is outlined,
clothed in grace that I might stand mighty in cold, proud of my nakedness. This is my season of stillness, in quiet reflection of my former self.
With love on my branches and my soul firmly rooted in grace
I will tend and nurture in quietness the seeds of my new life.
The blossoming of this new life will come as inevitably as winter yield to spring.
I will not rush the birth of my seedlings, nor will I disparage their timeliness.
Do we chastise the tree for its bareness in winter?
Do we call on the flowers to bloom with brilliance through the snow?
As it is their time to rest and take in the nutrients of the soil,
it is my time to rest, to heal.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Randomness about Grief

Up until now I had suffered major grief only twice in my life, in 1984 when my mom died and again in 1996 when my granny passed away. This is VERY different. There is hardly one minute of one day that my mind isn’t thinking about Christy. That would be great if I could totally focus on the 28 wonderful years I had her, but most of my thoughts are about her absence from my life. It’s hard.

I feel like there are rules to grief and I don’t know what they are. I can’t cry, that surely must be against the rules! Why can’t I cry? My heart cries all the time, constantly, but the tears stay away. I really don’t understand.

People always ask me how I’m doing, generally I say fine. That’s a big fat lie! I’m not fine, I’m not sure I’ll ever be fine again. My heart hurts! I want to wake up from my nightmare and see Christy, here.

I’ve been asked if I’m angry. Angry? No, I’m not angry. How could I be angry? God gave me a perfect gift, I held tight to that gift for 28 beautiful years. How could I possibly be angry about that? That doesn’t mean that I don’t suffer, the loss in tremendous for sure, but there is no anger.

I’ve been told numerous times that I’m strong. Let there be no mistake, I have NEVER in my life been weaker than I am right now. I can’t imagine why anyone would say that I’m strong. There is not one ounce of strength left in me. If you look at me and you see strength, you’re not seeing me, you must be seeing God. Maybe for some reason He wants you to see me that way, I have no clue. All I know is I’m heartsick, I’m tired and I’m weak.

I hate going out in public. People look at me and I wonder what they’re thinking. I know that I’m living every mother’s worse nightmare, is that what they’re thinking about? Are they thinking that I’m out and about too soon? Are they thinking that I look terrible? Are they wondering how I go on? I look at faces and I see questions.

Somehow life keeps going on. How does that happen? I’m beginning to think that I’m forever stuck on Oct. 11, 2008. Please keep praying for us, we certainly need it.

Missing my girl,
Julie

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Christy,

The day started out normal, so normal that I don’t really remember much about it until you called. “I’m sick.” Simple words but I knew in your voice that something was wrong, the sound of your voice gave me an uneasy feeling. I knew that Josh had to be gone that day so I simply got ready and Chris and I left to go stay with you.

When we got there you were feeling really bad, not throwing up but you had the dry heaves, not pleasant. You were cold one minute and then a wave of nausea would come over you and you would get hot. You sat in the recliner most of the afternoon while Chris and I were on the sofa. I even dozed off while you slept a little. Oh if I had known then what I know now I would never have slept. I would have spent that afternoon telling you how much I love you. I know that you know how much I love you but still, I would have used those last hours to tell you again, over and over.

You asked me to help you to the bed because you were cold, when I did you asked me what was wrong with you. I’m guessing now that you knew something was really wrong but you didn’t know what it was. When Josh got home I took your temperature, it was really low 91.something. Thinking that the thermometer must be wrong I took it again, 92.something. Josh stuck it in his mouth to make sure it was working, his temp was 98.6 so we took yours again, 97.8. Okay, now the thing is working. I think it was working every time. Why didn’t we realize that then?

I decided you probably wouldn’t be able to go to church the next day so I told you I would come back the next morning. You said okay, I told you I loved you. You told me you loved me and we left. Why did we leave? Those were the last words that you and I would ever speak to each other. Why didn’t I stay with you that night?

Shortly after we got home Josh called us and told us that you were cold all over and that your lips were turning blue and you were unresponsive, he had called 911. They were taking you to Harrison Memorial. We left immediately for the one hour drive. I drove the car, as we were heading up Nicholasville Road I looked over at Chris, his head was bowed and I knew he was praying for you. As we sat at the light on Nicholasville at New Circle I asked Chris to pray out loud so that I could hear him, he did but somehow at that point I knew you were going to leave us. My heart started hurting, badly.

When we finally got to the hospital Anita was sitting on a bench out front, she was trying so hard to be strong but I could see her love for you streaming down her face. I looked at her and said, “She didn’t make it, did she?” Anita couldn’t answer me.

After a little confusion we finally got to Josh, he was a total mess. He was sobbing uncontrollably, he loves you so much. I’ve always known this but that night I realized it more than I ever had. We were all so very upset, no way could this be true. You were fine the night before. I had been there and we had dinner together, talking and laughing. How could this be real?

Almost everyone from your church came to the hospital that night. We had to call Jim and ask him to go over and tell Kyle, he then brought Kyle to us. Kyle and Josh stood there in that little room wrapped in each others arms crying, hurting. I was numb. I could hear Chris out in the hallway making phone calls, crying the whole time. I also realized that night how much he loves you.

After several hours they asked us if we wanted to see you. So the four of us walked back to the room where your beautiful body lay. Josh lay across your chest begging you to wake up. Then he stepped away and just bawled, as did Chris and Kyle. I just stood there looking at you. You looked like you were asleep, so peaceful and beautiful. I kissed you and told you I loved you. I should have stayed there until they came for you, but for some reason I didn’t.

We left around 2:30 am and went to your house. Josh had asked me to pick out a dress to bury you in, but he already knew which one he wanted. Your favorite purple dress with the little sweater, it was perfect. As I stood there and looked around I could see you everywhere. Oh how I miss you.

When we got back home Daddy, Robbie, Barbara, Phillip and Dianne came over. We all cried and then cried again as Chris read to them your Note of Reflection. Thank you so much for leaving us with that, it has brought us so much comfort. Isn’t that just like you, making sure we were all taken care of before you left us. We miss you terribly.

Josh said that every time you guys went to a funeral visitation that you told him you wanted your casket to be closed. Well, we sort of did that. We closed it before the visitation but we wanted the family to be able to say good-bye, so we all spent one last time with you. Jim and Lori were there too, they love you so much. Poor papaw just couldn’t see his Christy Lea like that, so he didn’t come until the visitation started. You looked beautiful in your purple dress. The casket spray was beautiful too, purple roses with white calla lilies, your favorite. We tried to find the purple ones like you used for your wedding, but those had to be special ordered so we settled on the white ones.

More than 600 people came to your visitation. Everyone said such wonderful things about you. Some of your teachers from school were there, kids you went to school with, AOII sisters, Julie and Dr. Thompson from Transy, most of your doctors. All of your family and friends. Dr Neal came, I could hardly talk to him. I’m so appreciative of the way he cared for and loved you.

We had your funeral at Mt. Freedom. It seemed like the right thing to do. You grew up in that church, you came to know the Lord there, you were baptized there, and you met and married your Prince Charming there. Your funeral was simply beautiful, worshipful. Andrea read scripture, David said a prayer. Christel and Brian both sang. Paul Chitwood read your Note of Reflection while everyone cried. Then they played Geoff Moore’s “It’s good to be alive.” We cried some more. Joe delivered your eulogy. He made us all laugh and cry, it was beautiful.

We went to the cemetery and said our last good-byes. You are buried there very near to my momma, Chris and I will one day be there with you.

It’s been eleven days now and I can’t tell you how much I miss you and how my heart hurts for you. I want to touch you, to smell you, to kiss you again. I have a very simple message from you on the answering machine, every now and then when I want to hear your voice I push play, it brings me comfort. Even though I miss you so much it hurts I wouldn’t wish you back from your new body, from being in the presence of the Lord. I know that some day I will be there with you, that hope is what gets me through each hour of each day.

I love you my sweet baby girl.

Mom

Monday, October 20, 2008

In Her Own Words.........

A Note of Reflection...

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at 11:41pm

Dear readers -

As many of you know by this point, the last two months have been some of the most difficult days of my life. But, I cannot simply walk away from these days now that I am almost completely better without reflecting on what I have learned - or was just reminded of:

1.) Christ is in me and I am in Him. I simply would not have gotten through this ordeal and be this joyful on the other side of it apart from this truth.

2.) God has revealed His love for me not only by sending His one and only Son to die for my sins - which absolutely was enough - but continues to reveal this love everyday through my family, my friends and even my doctors:

- My husband, Josh, is my husband for a reason. I firmly believe now more than ever that he was selected especially for me by our Heavenly Father. Josh has lived out the vows he spoke to me on the day we were married 4 1/2 years ago in a way that I didn't even know was possible. He has prayed for me, loved me unconditionally, been there at every moment I needed him there, taken care of my physical needs, helped me to understand and deal with my emotional needs and has done his best to keep me smiling and laughing through it all. I pray he always knows how true my love is for him and how grateful I am for the love he shows to me every single day. I am quite the lucky girl!

- My mom, Julie, is my mom for a reason. I also firmly believe now more than ever that she was also selected especially for me by our Heavenly Father - just as Mary was chosen to be the mother of Jesus. God knew even before I was created that I would need a very special mother - and boy did he pick the right one! My mom has helped me clear every hurdle I have ever faced in my life. Some we jumped and cleared without difficulty and some we jumped, smacked into the hurdle and fell down. But anytime we fell, we fell together. And everytime we fell together she was always there to pick me up. My mom has also prayed for me, loved me with a love I cannot even understand, been there every time I have called for her, taken care of my physical needs and has cried with and for me. I pray she always knows how strong my love is for her. She is truly my best friend.

- Kyle, my brother, and Chris, my stepdad, are also in my life for a reason - they make me laugh! God knew I would need that from time to time :0) Anytime I feel like there is no smile left in me, one of them ALWAYS proves me wrong. I love my brother more than he probably knows and I know he loves me. I am happy that God has bonded us strongly together as brother and sister and enjoy the times we get to spend together. I also love my stepdad. God brought him into our lives over 10 years ago and I know we needed him as much as he needed us. We have grown a lot as a family over the years and I am happy to have the relationship that I have with him today. I pray it grows even stronger as the years continue to go by and as we all continue to learn and grow in Christ.

- My friends - way too numerous to count or list! God has given me great friends from all over the world. My friends have prayed for me, visited me, cared for me and have made themselves available to meet my needs even when it wasn't convenient for them. I pray that I can truly express my gratitude and return the love they have so generously poured out on me.

- My doctors - Dr. Jeffrey Neal, Dr. Paul Nichols, Dr. John Harrison, Dr. Charles Rose and others I'm sure I'm forgetting (or don't even remember that have taken care of me). God has put together such an amazing group of doctors for me and they have come together to treat me in the best way they possibly can. These doctors, the ones whose names I listed in particular, have a love for me that I don't understand - I'm just their patient - but I feel it each time I have a conversation with any of them. I am so thankful for their care and concern and feel truly confident and blessed that God carefully selected each one of them for me.

3.) In the words of Geoff Moore - "It's good to be alive." I came as close to dying as I think I ever have and although I am confident of where I am going when I do - the fact that I didn't means that God still has work for me to do here on Earth. What that is...I have no idea. I know a good part of it is to continue in ministry with Josh and spread His word. But, I feel like there is more. What? Not sure. But when I figure it out I'll sure let you know. And, maybe I'll never know. That's OK. I plan to live my days learning and growing as much as I possibly can and living each day as if it were my last. August 5th, 2008 could have been that last day. It wasn't and I am grateful for that. I now have a perspective on life that I have never had. It was a wonderful lesson to learn.

Love to all,

Christy

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again - my Savior and my God! Psalm 42:11

Monday, August 25, 2008

Gratitude

I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to each of you who have prayed for us over the past three weeks. It has been a huge blessing to know that you have been faithful in your prayers for us. Thank you just doesn’t seem to be enough for all you’ve done. Your love helped get us through one of the darkest times we have ever faced. We love each of you and appreciate you more than our words could ever say. We are most grateful to our Savior and Lord for the miraculous work he has done and is doing in our family. Christy is getting stronger every day and Chris is still hurting but is able to do a little more each day. We couldn’t possibly shout our praises loud enough to Him who is our strength and source of life.

We would love to know who you are. If you prayed for us please comment and let us know who you are, where you’re from and how you know us (or if you know someone who knows one of us). Also, if your church prayed for us we would like to know who they are as well. We are all one big family and we would love to know exactly how to thank our Father for his faithful.

Humbled,
Julie

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Chris

Chris had his surgery today, though much later in the day than expected. We were at the hospital at 6:15am and his surgery didn't happen until 4:30pm. Turns out Chris has PVC, premature ventricle contractions, or an irregular heartbeat. So, they had to bring in a cardiologist to approve his surgery which pushed us back to the end of the day. The surgery went great though and I'm happy to say that he's at home in the bed and resting very well.

Please pray for a quick and pain free recovery. I'll have the whole gang here for the weekend which will be a huge blessing for me. I can't wait for all of us to be here together even though two of us are going to be vegging out and recovering.

Blessings to all and thanks so much for your prayers.

Fully Relying on God,
Julie

Monday, August 18, 2008

Recovery, Surgery and Moving Day!

We are praising God today that Christy is doing so much better. She actually went home from the hospital on Saturday. I went home with them and stayed until 7:30 last night, all was well when I left. Please pray that they can get settled into a good routine. They are currently working on daily living, her mobility is the issue. She isn’t allowed to put her foot on the floor at all, so small tasks like getting from the bed to the wheelchair are difficult. But they are doing great so far and I’m sure by the end of the week they will be pros at it. I would also like to praise God today for Pleasant Green Baptist Church. What a huge blessing they have been. God has used that church family in a mighty way to bless Josh and Christy, they have made it financially possible for Josh to stay home with Christy for the next few weeks. God is good!

Chris is having back surgery on Wednesday. I’m taking that day off to be with him then Ruthie (his mom) is coming to spend the day with him on Thursday. Pray that his nervousness calms down some. He’s getting a little worked up and worrying about the what if’s. Pray also that his pain in minimal between now and Wednesday and that his recovery is quick.

Kyle moves out on Friday! I’m taking ½ the day off to help him move into his dorm room. I can hardly believe that he isn’t gonna be around all the time. Our house is going to be so quiet! Not that he’s loud, but still. What will I do without him to lie on my bed playing with the dog while I’m ironing?!! I have a feeling that life is going to be very different. Pray that he and his roommate will become quick friends and that living with a stranger won’t be too weird for him. Pray that he does well and keeps his grades up while living away from home. Pray that his momma doesn’t cry everyday that he’s gone.

Thanks for keeping up with us and a HUGE THANK YOU for all the prayers! We love each of you so much and just want you to know how much we appreciate you.

Praising our Amazing Father,
Julie

Friday, August 15, 2008

Back Surgery

Well, Chris will be having surgery on Wednesday - August 20th, please be in prayer for him. Pray for peace, pain free days and patience. Also, pray that I don't go crazy! I'm not sure how much more of this I can take - not that any of this is about me!!!!!!!!

Praying nonstop these days,
Julie

Good-bye ICU!

Christy is out of ICU as of 11:30 last night. She's currently in room 5155, I think. I was in bed sound asleep when they called last night to tell us she had been moved. I repeated the room number about 50 times so that I would be sure to remember it, hopefully I have. I told them to call me as soon as they were up this morning so I'm guessing they are still sleeping, which is a good thing.

Please remember Chris this morning as he's headed to the neurosurgeon for his consultation regarding his back.


Rejoicing in the Lord,
Julie

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Cowboy Hospital

Today was a good day. I told Josh he should go home and spend the day, he left the hospital around noonish. Christy ate her lunch after he left and then went to sleep for a couple of hours. When she woke up it was bath time and Lori (a nurse) and I bathed her, including washing her hair for the first time in a week. I noticed right away that she was feeling much better. But the real turn around was when Dr. Neal, her Rheumatologist that she dearly loves, came to visit. When he confirmed to her that she was in fact at Central Baptist Hospital her demeanor completely changed. When Dr. Neal left she looked at me and said, "I thought you all were lying to me." She thought she wasn't gonna get any better and Dr. Neal had confirmed to her that she was in fact much better. Then she looked at me and said, "I had a dream, and please tell me that this isn't true, that I was in a cowboy hospital." I laughed my butt off and promptly confirmed that it wasn't true. She also thought she had to go swimming with her surgeon and his children. Drugs can do some strange things to a person.

Josh called me around 8ish telling me he was almost back and asking if I wanted any food. I said, "Hold on a minute." The next thing he heard was his wife saying hello to him over the phone, I could hear the excitement in his voice as he talked to her and she was able to clearly carry on a conversation with him. When he got to the hospital he said, "I couldn't get here fast enough!" We are both beside ourselves with excitement. I left the hospital tonight on one of the biggest highs of my life. She still has a lot of swelling, so continue to pray about that. But most importantly, join me in praising our Saviour for His mighty work in Christy's life.

One more thing to share. I checked my hotmail tonight for the first time in days. I get K-Love's encouraging word everyday. Today's word was from Matthew, chapter 10. When I read it I knew that I needed to write it down, so I did and posted it on the bathroom door at the foot of Christy's bed. Just after I taped it to the door Dr. Neal walked in. After he left and we had our laugh about the cowboy hospital she told me she was afraid. I said to her that God had just given me a word for her and I had taped it to the door. I read the following to her.......

So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to God than a whole flock of sparrows. Matthew 10:31 NLT

So tonight I go to bed not afraid. Thanks to each of you for your faithfulness through all of this. Please keep up the prayers!

Julie

Prayer

I know that you guys have been more than faithful but I have a few requests. First, Christy needs to eat. I know, you're thinking this isn't really anything new and you're right about that. However, it's a little more critical now than normal. If she doesn't start getting some nourishment they are going to place a feeding tube. If you know Christy at all then you know that she will be pissed (excuse me there, but she will be) if that happens. Just pray that she has the desire and the strength to eat her meals.

Secondly, pray for Chris. He is absolutely miserable with his back. He had an MRI done this morning and we'll get the results of that tomorrow morning. He's upset that he can't be up here but now he's even hurting while sitting. And if you've read my previous post then you know sitting in a real pain in the butt around here. Pray that there will be some type of treatment besides surgery that will give him some major relief.

I want to thank all of you for checking up on us everyday but mostly for praying for my sweet baby girl. I'm glad to report that I've seen just a bit of her real personality today. I'm afraid if I ask her again to take just one more bite that she's gonna come up out of that bed and take me out. Honestly, that's what I'm praying for.

Love to all and keep up the prayers, we certainly can feel the love!

Julie

Friday, August 8, 2008

Life in the ICU......

sucks! Just so you know.

Really, I guess it's not that bad all things considered. I really didn't know a persons butt could hurt so bad just from sitting in a chair. I sit here looking at other people, trying to figure out who goes with who. I think I'm pretty good at this, I've even matched a lot of people to patients. Two families are trying to prepare for the loss of elderly parents. It's been a difficult day here on that front. One man here is desperately trying to be strong as he lets go of his wife of 64 years. He has to say good-bye to the woman who has shared his life, his hopes, his disappointments and his love for 64 years. She's his soul mate and he's really having a hard time with it. I have no idea what his name is but if you think of it, say a little prayer for him.

Chris, Josh and I were coming up the elevator tonight when a lady we had never seen before asked me if it looked like she had been crying. After I said no she broke down, she was trying to prepare herself to tell her mom it was okay to let go. How do you do that when it really isn't okay? Chris and I were both moved to tears by that lady. I pray that our words were a comfort to her.

These crappy chairs are also our beds. Josh and I are getting pretty good at sleeping on chairs with all of the lights on and the stupid TV playing all night long. Can't turn anything off or people will seriously freak out, and since these people are already on the edge we certainly don't want to be the cause of any freaking out.

As I was sitting here by myself I came to a realization. I drive past this hospital everyday on my way to work. And everyday there are people just like me sitting in this waiting room with hearts that hurt. It made me sad that I had never realized this before.

I'm gonna say good-night now. Thanks for checking on us. Thanks just doesn't really seem like much but thanks to all of you who have been praying for Christy. I seriously have no idea how we could make it through all of this without each of you. We love you!

Julie

Update on Stats

Heart rate 110
BloodOx 97
BP 158 over 82

She seems to have had some type of setback in the night. Not sure what's going on. The pulmonary doc is doing a broncioscope (sp? this morning, hopefully that will bring about some improvement.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Current Stats

Heart Rate 95
BloodOx 100 (perfect!)
BP 160 over 78 - not sure why because it's been very normal, maybe because she was us eating a few bites.

The Oxygen mask is gone, praise the Lord, that thing was bugging the crap out of her.

We're still here and things are good for now. We appreciate every one's prayers so very much. Thanks to all and please keep praying for God's complete healing.

Julie

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Read Josh's blog here.......

Okay, I can't make the link work - which I've been able to do before, but if you go to my post titled "Surgery Postponed" you can link to Josh in that post. Sorry, my brain isn't at it's best this evening.

ICU

We're here in 4North at Central Baptist Hospital. Christy wasn't feeling well Monday night, she went to bed early with a slight headache. She got up Tuesday and since she had a conference in Maysville she decided to go to work. Sometime during the morning session she started feeling really bad, clammy and sweaty, then had a seizure. They took her to the Maysville ER, they stabilized her there, with no idea what was going on other than she broke her knee during the seizure, and transported her here. Last night when I left she was doing okay, in a lot of pain with her knee but stats were pretty good. Different story when I got here this morning. Her stats have fallen during the day and now she's in ICU. We still have no clue what's at the root of all this. I'm currently in the waiting room waiting for the next time we can go back to her room. Please pray for our mighty God to bring healing to Christy's body. Thanks so much and I'll try to update as soon as possible.

Praying and waiting,
Julie

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Good-bye My Friends

We have to say good-bye next week to a family that we love dearly. David, Coleen, Reilly & Maddison are heading out for Texas on Sunday, August 3rd. Oh I know it’s not really good-bye it’s just see you later, but my heart sure feels like it’s good-bye.

One of my fondest memories of David was during Dreamer, you Mt. Freedom alum know what I’m talking about. David and Coleen invited everyone over to the parsonage after that evening’s fabulous event (only after being run off by the Salvation Army nazi, I mean sweet lady). We were all driving in a caravan when the lead car, one blue jeep, ran a stop sign, and of course the Wilmore police were out in full force that night. Poor David had to suffer the humiliation of his flock driving past, waving and laughing as they went. And yes, we were all standing in their front yard still laughing like crazy when they finally made it home.

Oh the memories we have of those days at Mt. Freedom. I look back to when we were “forced” to gather before Sunday school to sing praise music, only to now realize what a blessing God made that to be. I remember being really angry at the time but in retrospect that was seriously the sweetest worship I have ever experienced. I feel like we’re all saying good-bye to a time of innocence and growth, like we’re leaving our carefree days of childhood behind us to step into our adult lives. But if that’s the case, then we certainly were forced to grow up before our time. To many of you this may sound very strange but I find myself seriously thanking God for the people who caused so much pain, because the result of that pain is our unbelievable connection with each other. A connection that I think we will all take to our graves. I certainly pray that we do.

So to our very dear brother and sisters - the Hewitt’s, we know that God has great plans for your future and we can hardly wait to see where He takes you. Know that we will be praying for you every step of the way. I hope you can somehow comprehend what a difference you’ve made in our lives. Thank you so much for your service to our Lord and for the countless ways you’ve loved us. We are forever changed for having the opportunity to serve along side you and we certainly count it a privilege.

Godspeed!

Friday, July 11, 2008

The Power of Love

A few years ago I happened upon a blog by a woman whose young son was battling cancer. I was so very intrigued by Heater’s blog because through her son’s battle and ultimate death her faith in and love of Christ never wavered. Oh, let me tell you, she suffered. She suffered something I hope none of us ever has to go through, but she never lost her faith and I just find that so inspiring. Anyway, today when I went to her sight and read her blog I was prompted to share it. I’m not really sure why, I just know someone who reads my blog needs to read this today. So whoever you are, here it is and I’m happy to share it with you.

Heather’s blog

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Our little Jack was finally attacked.

Yes, it happened on our walk last night. Now as you know, Jack thinks he’s a mini-cujo and is ready to take on any dog regardless of size. I’m sure he thinks he’s protecting us but somehow it always ends with us protecting him. Anyway, Chris and I were just walking along talking while Jack was prancing down the sidewalk, little did we know we were being stalked. Suddenly from out of nowhere comes this vicious animal and he’s on top of Jack before we even know he’s there. After the initial shock of it all Chris and I almost hit the ground laughing. Our cujo has been attacked by a half-grown kitten. It’s hopping all sideways hissing with its back arched while Jack is standing there looking at it like ‘what the heck’. He didn’t know rather to bark at it or try to play with it. The cute little critter stalked us until we left his street. Jack happily went back to prancing and just hoping to find another adventure along the way.

What keeps you from Jesus?

Last night as I was doing my Bible study I started thinking about all of the things that get in between us and Jesus. I guess mostly its sin. Don’t you just feel terrible praying when you have sin to confess? I know I do. Honestly, that’s when He wants us the most, when we need to repent. For the Jews it was the law. But really, what is our excuse when we have no laws to bind us?

In reference to Mark 1: 35-39 the following is a quote from “Jesus – 90 Days with the One and Only” by Beth Moore.

Day 21 Jesus in the Morning – Jesus in the Evening

Christ primarily had been ministering in various synagogues to Jews. It was unlawful for them to carry the sick on the Sabbath. But God-fearing people counted the moments until the sun set over the Sea of Galilee, marking the close of day. So as darkness fell, they bundled their sick and brought them to the Light. It was as if they watched the clock of the law tick until it finally struck grace.


My friends, thanks to our Savior our clock is forever stuck on grace. Isn’t it time to go to the One who treasures you more than anyone else is even capable of?

Friday, June 27, 2008

For Christy

"God is doing a greater work in us, and that can only come as we learn to trust him no matter how dark the days and sleepless the nights. And it is only as we have been through the darkness with him that what we know with our heads slides down into our hearts, and our hearts no longer demand answers. The Why? becomes unimportant when we believe that God can and will redeem the pain for our good and his glory.... When I put the sovereignty of God beside his unfailing love, my heart can rest."
Verdell Davis

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Surgery Postponed

Since I'm at a loss for words I'm gonna direct you to Josh's blog, he pretty much sums up how I feel anyway.

http://www.passionatepastorsponderings.blogspot.com

Cardboard Testimonies

This is an amazing video. I hope you'll take the time to watch it. After you've had a chance to view the video take a few minutes to think about your own cardboard testimony.




Here’s mine………….

Tried marriage my way – failed twice
Tried marriage God’s way – will celebrate 10 years in February 09
Thank you Father

Friday, June 20, 2008

New Surgery Date

For those of you who follow my blog and are interested, Christy’s surgery has been pushed back a few days. She has an open sore on her ankle so as a precaution the doctor has started her on antibiotics, oral and topical, and has rescheduled her surgery for June 30th. Please continue to pray for her. Pray for peace and patience. Thanks!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Cicadas - Away With You!

My dog is a pansy! He’s afraid of a bug. Now, if you’ve read my previous posts then you know he is willing to risk life and limb, both his and mine, by taking on a great dane but a little bug is out of the question. He went out to potty a couple of days ago and as he was running back to the house he was being followed by a screaming cicada. I’m sure he felt like he was being chased so now he won’t go out to potty. Crazy dog cowers down like its bath time if you open the back door and tell him to go potty. He will happily run out the front door since the trees are far enough from the house that he can potty without a cicada encounter but this could be hazardous to his life since the street is out that door.

And just so you know, both my kids are pansies too. Kyle and I went to Cynthiana last night to pick up Christy’s yard sale stuff, so as we’re out and about Christy starts making noise like some creature from Lost while screaming, “get it off of me, get it off of me. “ Then I hear this whimpering sound coming from Kyle, 21 years old, 6 foot tall and he won’t even swat a bug off of his sister who is about to have an embolism due to said bug! I swear! I told both of them they were the biggest pansies I know. If I didn’t know better I would think those kids belong to Lori! :)

But seriously, it’s time for the cicadas to GO AWAY already! I’m sick of them. We can’t even go for a nice relaxing walk without having to scream at each other just to be heard. Our poor little trees in the front yard are absolutely covered with these things. And let me just tell you, if you walk up to a tree and look one of these creatures in the eye - IT WILL zap your head. I speak from experience people!

When I left for work yesterday our neighborhood looked like a war zone. We had some pretty serious storms the night before so there were trash containers everywhere, tree limbs and partial trees down on every street and the dead soldiers (cicadas) strewn all over the place. I’ve never seen so many dead bugs at one time in all my life, and just so you know – Jack is just as afraid of them dead as he is when they're alive.

So my questions are this……..

Why did God make these irritating 17 year bugs and when the heck are they leaving?!!!!!!!!

In case you live on Mars and haven't seen a cicada look here.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Funk

It’s Monday and I’m in a funk. I just can’t seem to pull myself out of it either. Yesterday should have been a great day, but I just couldn't seem to get myself in the mood to enjoy anything. Church was absolutely wonderful but after that the day just went downhill and I can’t even say why. I hate it when I get like this. What is my problem anyway? I feel like I’m in a slow moving wagon headed down a steep hill, I see everybody as I’m traveling down and they're all laughing and having a good time but I just can’t get off and join in. I’d rather just stay in the wagon and wallow in my sorrows. Its midlife I suppose, one of those wonderful phenomenon’s you just can’t put your finger on. I thought I had bypassed all this crap by having a hysterectomy but I suppose instead I just jumped in head first. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to deal with it. Hopefully I can have a decent post sometime later this week.

To put the focus where it should be - Would you please pray for Jason, Tracy, Bekah and Sammi. They need all of us right now and since we can’t be in Michigan with them let’s join up with them in prayer. Thanks!

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Heroes

When Chris and I were going through our pre-marital counseling Joe and Deirdra asked us who our earthly heroes were and why. Thankfully Chris had to answer first so I had some time to think, not that I needed to think of who my hero was, it’s just that I have three so I was trying to decide which one to tell about. Turns out, I told about all three. I guess I’m a bad wife because I have no clue how Chris answered. However, my answers are the same today as they were back then.

My Granny – It’s really hard to give one reason as to why my Granny is one of my heroes because there are a whole host of reasons that I could easily choose. She had the most beautiful silver hair you’ve ever seen and she wore an apron every day, not just a short one that tied around the waist but the kind that also looped around her neck. And she always had a safety pin or two pinned to it just in case of emergencies. I love my Granny so much. She and my Granddad moved in with my family when I was around two. My mom worked outside the home so Granny was my live in baby-sitter. Now that I’m an adult I realize it couldn’t have been easy for my parents to have my grand-parents living in our house, but it was great for me. Granny would tell stories endlessly about her life growing up and the years they spent living on the Dale farm. I heard those stories over and over but I never got tired of them. If I were asked to sum up Granny in one word it would be LOVE, and yes, with all capital letters. She was like an old mother hen tucking her little chicks up under her, she would grab you and pull you in really close and hold you really tight. She loved with everything she had, and not just her own - she also loved everybody we loved. She gave her heart so freely and so beautifully, I have never met anyone else like her. Granny lost her husband and four of her children before the Lord called her home, I often wonder why she was called to endure such heartache for those she loved so very much. But I find comfort in knowing that more than she loved any of us, Granny loved her Jesus and she knew that one day she would be reunited with those who had gone ahead of her. One of her favorite hymns was The Old Rugged Cross and she lived every day of her life clinging to that Cross. On March 23, 1996 my Granny quietly and peacefully left this earth with me, Phillip & Dianne at her side. She was finally able to exchange her cross for a crown. And I know without question when she arrived at the throne she pulled Jesus really close and is still holding Him really tight waiting there for the rest of us to arrive.

My Mom - My mother was a strong independent woman. She worked outside the home, long before most women did, until she became too ill to work. I believe she actually loved her jobs. Oh, she grew weary like most of us do, but I think she really liked going to work every day. She worked so that my brothers and I could have some of the extras in life. Money was tight in our family but we never realized it until we got older. There was no guessing where you stood with momma, she always let you know just what she thought about everything, even if you really didn’t want to know. Looking back on her life I’ve come to realize my momma was a daddy’s girl. She loved her mother but her eyes always had a special glow with just the mention of my granddaddy. I love imagining her running around as a little girl following her daddy through the fields chattering nonstop, and my granddaddy was so very patient so I’m sure he would have just listened with his heart and encouraged her the whole time. My mom was a tough cookie but she had a soft side that not enough people got to know. We lost momma in August of 1984 when she lost a very courageous battle to breast cancer. She fought with everything she had to beat that dreaded disease, but in the end she just had nothing left to fight with. I watched her suffer and I saw her take her last breath. I was so afraid to be in the room with her when she passed away but so very glad now that I was. I can only hope that if I’m ever faced with such a tough task I too can display the same courage and raw determination that she did. I miss her terribly.

My daughter – It was snowing on April 15, 1980 when we were driving to the hospital. I was only 18 years old when I gave birth to Christy, just a child myself. Looking back now I have to thank the Lord for her two wonderful grandmothers, not sure how I would have survived those early years without them. When Christy was a wee four year old she was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. Some people probably wouldn’t have understood the weight of that diagnosis, but having watched my dear granddaddy battle the same horrible disease I knew all too well exactly what it would mean. Christy has lived a life filled with much pain but she has never once faltered. And in spite of her struggles she has grown into a beautiful, happy, fulfilled woman of God. She is so very strong! She faces every day head on and is so determined not to give up. She has more fight in that little body than a hundred soldiers at war. I am humbled by her strength and truly amazed at her tenacity. God has entrusted me with the greatest of gifts and I can’t express how blessed I am to have been chosen to be her mother.


The photo on the left is my Granny in 1988.
The right is my Dad, me and Momma taken in 1977.

Friday, May 23, 2008

Animals

We have two, one cat, one dog. The cat came first. We got Max just a few months after Chris and I got married. He was my Mother’s Day present to me. I’ve (half) jokingly called Max the spawn of Satan, it’s really kind of true. I’m thinking, regardless of the fact that he’s male, we should have named him Sybil. He can be all lovely and rubbing on you one minute with his motor running as loud as can be, that’s what we call it when he’s purring, then WHAM, your butt is bit. Just out of nowhere he turns on you, bites you hard and takes off like a streak of lightning. Why in the world are cats like that? I love Max, I really do, but sometimes I just want to toss him out the back door - forever. He HATES the dog and occasionally he tells us how much he hates the dog. Jack just loves Max and will run up to him wanting to play, he’s got his head bobbing and his tail waggin and Max will look at one of us and just meow the loudest meanest meow you’ve ever heard, it sounds like maybe he’s being skinned alive, it’s an evil sound! Does this faze Jack in the least? Not for one single second. The little clueless one just keeps on until the cat can’t take any more and gives up and runs to hide. Max is nine years old but he can still jump up to the top on my kitchen cabinets, it’s one of his favorite places to sleep but it also works well for getting away from that darn dog. But having said all of that, you can’t find a better bed buddy! He loves it when one of his people takes a nap, it’s his heaven. He’ll jump up on the bed with you and the minute you find your position he finds his and DO NOT attempt to move him. He will lay there and sleep with you for as long as you stay in the bed, he’s never ready for a nap to end. He snores too, which totally cracks me up.

We’ve had Jack for almost two years. Now, I never once thought that I could love a dog the way I love my Jackie. Oh, I’m an animal lover and I knew I would love him. But I LOVE this dog, I’m a crazy sappy nut over a dog! Who would have ever thought it? Kyle practically came out of the womb begging for a dog and I held firm for 19 years, but in a weak moment I caved. And once I caved Chris was sucked in too. So after signing a 26 point contract (which by the way is totally useless – not even worth the paper it was written on) Kyle bought and brought home our Jackie. I fell in love the minute he walked in the door holding that sweet little puppy. Chris and I walk Jack every day (I’ll copy the contract for you at the bottom of my post so you can see how many of the stupid rules we break.) Lori says that Jack has little man syndrome, which at first was funny to me but I didn’t really believe it. Well Lori is so right. We were walking through our neighborhood last night when out of no where comes this huge great dane. Jack is a sheltie and a small one at that, he only weighs 14 pounds (Max weighs 18). Chris screams at me to pick him up, which I promptly did, and in that very second I’m covered in great dane. Now it sort of seems like this horse, I mean dog, just wants to visit with Jack but since I could look this animal in the eye without bending over, we couldn’t take any chances. Chris and I have little man sandwiched between us trying our best to keep the volkswagen sized head of the great dane away from him, this massive creature could have swallowed Jack in one bite. Chris is screaming at the great dane, I’m screaming at the little man – who at this point sounds like he’s gonna have great dane for a snack – when the big dog’s owner comes running out his front door. “Oh, he won’t hurt you.” I’m looking face to face with a dog that’s as tall as me while holding a dog that thinks he’s some sort of mini cujo and this total stranger is telling me I’m not gonna get hurt. Sure buddy! But obviously great dane sees his dad coming and knows he’s going back inside so he takes off faster than Big Brown did in the Derby. So we keep on going and I finally sat Jack down and he promptly pooped. I guess that big monster scared him more than he was willing to let on.

Animal ownership can be hazardous – your cat could bite you, another dog may eat you up while trying to eat your dog – but we love our guys and we wouldn’t trade them for anything.

Here’s a copy of my worthless contract……………


Rules for dog ownership

A seven day eviction notice will be given to the dog if the following rules are not strictly followed. Finding a new home for the dog will be the responsibility of its owner, Kyle Adams.

The dog shall be the sole responsibility of Kyle.
The dog shall be crate trained and kept in the crate when there are no humans at home.
The dog’s crate shall be kept in Kyle’s bedroom at all times.
Any doggie mess, urine and fecal matter, will be cleaned up by Kyle as soon as possible after said mess has been made. This is to include both indoor and outdoor messes.
Mom and Chris will baby-sit when arrangements are made well in advance, no dropping off of granddog at the spur of a moment.
The dog must attend and graduate obedience school at earliest recommended age.
Kyle is responsible for feeding and watering the dog.
Kyle is responsible for walking the dog. If the dog wants to be walked and Kyle’s lazy butt is in the bed, Kyle WILL get up and walk the dog without complaint.
Financial matters relating to the dog are solely Kyle’s responsibility, including but not limited to veterinarian bills.
During inclement weather the dog’s feet must be cleaned upon re-entering the home.
When the dog stinks, Kyle will bathe the dog as soon as Mom says the dog stinks.
If carpet (or other flooring) is soiled by dog, Kyle will clean, have cleaned, or replace said carpet or flooring.
Kyle is responsible for replacing anything the dog destroys by chewing or scratching.
Dog will be allowed to move from the home with Kyle regardless of how much Mom or Chris cries.
If the dog shows repeated aggressive behavior, dog will be served a seven day eviction notice.
Dog will be taught not to jump on people.
Dog will not be fed from the table!!!!!!!
Dog will only be fed dog food.
The dog will be taught to stay outside for lengthy periods of time.
The dog is NOT allowed on any furniture, the ONLY exception will be Kyle’s bed.
Whenever possible, dog will go with Kyle for overnight visits from home.
During family vacations, or other times the entire family will be away from home, Kyle will make arrangements for dog to stay elsewhere to be cared for.
Dog can not be named after any Star Wars character.
Until yard is fenced, dog will be kept on a chain with a grounded stake while unattended outside.
Every effort will be made to teach dog not to bark while outdoors.
Kyle will keep his room clean to mom’s standards for the life of the dog.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Two New Knees and One Amazing God!

Christy was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis at the age of 4, big stuff for such a little girl. She’s been through a lot in the past 24 years, some good, some bad but she has remained hopeful and faithful to her Lord throughout. Now she’s facing surgery once again, this time its new knees. Yes, being the overachiever she is she’s going for both at the same time. It was two new hips at the same time, so why not two new knees at the same time?

Last week, prior to her appointment with her surgeon, I e-mailed a few of my faithful friends and asked them to pray for my baby girl. They get the fact that even though she’s 28 years old and married she will always be my baby girl. And pray they did! Here is the request……..

Hello to all,

As some of you already know, Christy is now facing double knee replacement surgery and in my opinion, the sooner the better. She has missed three days of work this week because one of her knees has, as she said, been about the size of her head. I’m e-mailing to ask you guys to pray for her. Specifically for the following……..

Peace – She is so anxious about this surgery, and not just the normal pre-surgery anxiety. Her hips were replaced just over a year ago and the recovery for that was so intense and she knows that this will be at least as bad and much likely worse.

Timing – Pray that God will bring about His perfect timing for this surgery. There are so many factors weighing in on this, if she waits until she’s been with the college for a year she can withdraw time from the “bank.” Her one year anniversary is in August, the question is can she wait that long. The problem with doing the surgery before August is she has so little PTO that she will be off for most of her recovery without pay and they really can’t afford that. But pray that whatever time God decides, she won’t worry or be anxious over money.

Wisdom – for Christy and Josh but also for Dr. Nichols. She has an appointment with him on Tuesday and they have pretty much decided to go with his recommendation. They have so much confidence in him based on how wonderful he was during her hip surgery and recovery. Just a side note, he is a wonderful doctor. He told Christy prior to her surgery that he wanted to pray with her so that she would know without question to whom he belonged. He said he felt that this was very important considering she was putting her life in his hands.

For her anesthesiologist – I know this may seem premature but most of you will understand the importance of this. Pray that he/she will be gentle and understanding of her issues. Pray that the IV will work the very first time and that she won’t have to face 22 failed attempts again. Pray that he/she is very knowledgeable of fiber optic intubation and that he’s used it so many times that it’s second nature to him.

Josh – I’m sitting here in a pool of tears just thinking about how blessed my daughter is to have such a perfect partner. You know that I’m not saying Josh is a perfect man but he is HER perfect man. I’ve said this before but I have to say it again, God did such an amazing job in His choice of a husband for Christy. Pray that Josh will not grow weary during all of this. He loves her more than anything, pray that God will protect his love for her during this difficult time in their lives.

Thank you my friends. I love each of you dearly.

Where do I begin in sharing how God has answered these requests already?
This week has been revival week at Pleasant Green Baptist. They have had a guest pastor, we were able to attend Sunday morning to hear God’s word through Paul and it was amazing. On Sunday morning Josh announced that the church would be taking up a love offering each day of the revival and at the end of the week (revival week ends on Wednesday) the offering would be given to Paul. This is nothing new, Pleasant Green does this for each of their twice annual revivals and I know that typically they receive in excess of $1000.00, not bad for a church with an active membership of about 60 people.

Last night with about 15 minutes before we found out which David would be crowned our new American Idol, our phone rings. Chris answers and hands me the phone and says, “it’s Josh.” Well Josh really only calls me for a few reasons, it wasn’t my birthday, Christy has just celebrated her birthday – meaning he doesn’t need to bounce gift idea’s off of me, so my thought is “oh no, something has happened to Christy.” Not the case, he starts out the conversation with “I’ve got good news.” (Obviously he knows me well and knew he needed to clarify the reason for his call rather quickly.) It seems as though Paul, the guest revival pastor, had directed the treasurer at Pleasant Green to give his portion of the love offering to Josh and Christy. But pray that whatever time God decides, she won’t worry or be anxious over money. Isn’t our God amazing? He could have waited until the time they actually needed the money to provide them with it, but he didn’t because we asked him not to let her worry or be anxious over money. Can I just tell you that she spend ALL of Wednesday worrying and being anxious over money just for Him to tell her Wednesday evening that He’s got her covered!!!!! How amazing is our God?

And we prayed for God’s perfect timing, this has been my major concern not hers. Last night when she and I were talking she told me that she felt God was telling her that this was his perfect timing for her surgery and that he was taking care of all the details. (Note: she didn’t know of my concerns or my e-mail to my faithful friends.) So after Idol and the newly crowned David I go call Lori, I tell her all about the huge financial blessing that Christy and Josh have received and how God has revealed that this is his perfect timing. I’m all calm and feeling warm and fuzzy inside, thanking Jesus for calming Christy’s fears and throwing in the bonus of the timing discussion just to ease her momma’s worries, when I sit down to do my evening Bible study. I’m currently doing the Beth Moore personal study titled 90 Days with Jesus The One And Only, it’s amazing – thanks Stacy for telling me about it. I’ve been feeling guilty that I haven’t done my study for the previous two nights because I’ve been cleaning out kitchen cabinets like a crazy woman. I open my study to Day 6 and guess what the title is? Yep, “Perfect Timing.” Can you believe it? I just fell into tears thanking my Lord for his perfect timing. If I had done that particular study on Monday night, when I thought I was suppose to, I would have totally missed what He was telling me. I’ve always told God I’m a little hard of hearing so if He wants me to know for sure that he’s answering my prayer he needs to drop a big bolder in front of my car while I’m driving to/from work with the words “I hear you” on it. Thank you Jesus for dropping the bolder!

And we prayed for peace, as you can see by reading this post He has given all of us precious, amazing, wonderful peace.

I want to say a big thank you to each of my friends who answered my e-mail with prayer. I hope you realize what a difference you make in my life and how much you bless me. We don’t tell our friends often enough how much we love them and need them, so let me say right now……… I love you more than my simple words can ever express. Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.

So, it’s new knees on June 25th and answered prayer today! I love you Lord.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What do I want to be when I grow up?

This is the question Kyle is asking himself. When he was little his answer to this question was always the same, "I don't want to grow up." Well my son, you're all grown up now and it's time to make a decision. So what's it going to be?

So here's the issue - he's come to the point in his college career when he must declare a major and he has no idea what to declare. He never wants my advice on anything and if I try to give it to him he just rolls his eyes and walks away. Now all of the sudden he wants me to make the most important decision of his life, well I'm just not going to do it. I have offered suggestions to no avail. He's brought home a book, with like a thousand pages, listing all of the possible college majors. Chris and I have both read this huge book and we've offered up almost every possibility with no luck at all. The problem is the book doesn't list professional son. I think he wants to spend the rest of his days living with us eating our canned pasta and drinking our powerade!

So, if you have ideas or suggestions on what Kyle can do with his future, please share them with him. He can roll his eyes at you for a while.

Trying this on for size.

Okay, I'm entering the blog world. I know, I can hardly believe it myself! You're probably wondering what the heck I'm thinking, well obviously I'm not.

But seriously folks, sometime ago I was asked to correspond, via e-mail, with a friend of mine regarding the issues of mothering a child with health problems. This was supposed to benefit my friend and hopefully it did, but it also blessed me in ways I never imagined it could. So, here I am starting up this blogging journal. Really, there's no telling what I'm likely to share but you can bet that a lot of it will be about my children and you may even find mention of yourself in my words.

I hope this becomes something we can all enjoy!