Holidays

On the grief board I visit they call them hellidays. Now, that’s kind of funny to me but I can’t bring myself to call Christmas a helliday. It’s the day we celebrate the birth of our Savior and that’s just not appropriate, nor does it express how I feel. Last Friday was however, a hell of a day. Thanksgiving was okay, even good really. Normally my whole family comes to my house for Thanksgiving but since this year is anything but normal, we changed things up a little. We all went to Robbie and Barbara’s and had a really good time. In the evening the four of us went to Jimmy & Ruthie’s and a good time was had there as well. We were stuffed and tired by the end of the day.

Then came black Friday, and black it was! I always spend the day after Thanksgiving putting out our Christmas decorations, and this year was no exception. Many people don’t celebrate Christmas at all after a loss, but I just couldn’t let this holiday pass unnoticed. Christmas was Christy’s absolute favorite time of year. She LOVED every day from Thanksgiving Day to New Year’s Day. She loved the decorations, the sights and smells that meant Christmas and being with family. She would be very disappointed in us if we let this season pass without celebrating. So, to honor her and to celebrate as a family (hurting though we are), I climbed up the attic stairs and threw down box after box.

Chris’ decorating job is the outside of the house, and a fine job he does! I decided to start with the tree this year, usually I do it last. So Josh and I drag the monster out and get started. The tree was the hardest thing I’ve done since Christy’s funeral. The ornaments were the worst of all, so many memories in that one box. Josh and I spent much of the time talking of various things about Christy. It was hard, but it was also good for us. Once the tree was up and the lights were on he left. He didn’t want to stick around for the ornaments, I can’t really blame him. It took me two full days to get everything done and normally I finish in one day. I’m not sure if it’s my age creeping up on me, the sadness that overwhelmed me or both that made it take longer than normal. But our house is now fully decorated.

I hope I’m up to making candy this year. I’ve gone back and forth on the issue but I did buy a ton of containers, so hopefully I will be able. I have to make lists of everything I want to do, if not then I just don’t do them. Why is it that a list motivates me?

We already have lots of donations to Christy’s stocking, I’m so thrilled!!!!!!! It’s so fun to watch her stocking fill up. I know this little project would make her so happy.

Thanks for checking up on us. Please keep praying for us daily as we make our way through this beautiful but difficult holiday season.

Remembering Christmases’ past,
Julie