I have done many Beth Moore studies, I just love her ability to make God’s Word come to life, but I have to say - this study of Ruth has been the best Bible study I’ve ever done. Perhaps it’s because it’s the one I’ve most needed. I will tell you this as a word of warning – when I did day two of session four I cried through the ENTIRE lesson and for two hours afterward. As a matter of fact, I cried myself to sleep. It was simply gut-wrenching.
I didn’t stumble on Ruth by accident, God guided me straight to her. Ruth has always been my favorite book of the Bible. Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story? And to me that’s always what Ruth was, a love story. Oh, it is still an amazing love story but it’s also a story of love that grows from the roots of great pain and heartache. It’s funny how you can just skim over pain and heartache until you’ve lived it, then you can never skim over it again.
I don’t even remember who asked me one day a few months back, what my favorite book of the Bible is. Of course, I immediately said Ruth. Then maybe a week or so later I found out that Jennifer was doing a study on the book of Ruth. I remember thinking then how much I loved Ruth. Then there seemed to be more chatter about Ruth, I think Lori mentioned Jennifer’s study. Then came the eye opener! The last Thursday of each month I attend a grief gathering for mothers who have lost children. On this particular night we had a speaker who is a grief counselor and who has also lost a two year old granddaughter. She spoke in a way that made me feel like she was looking at my brain and reading my thoughts to the room!!!! One of the last things she did was read some scripture from the book of Ruth. She closed her Bible, placed her arms on it and said, “Ladies, may I suggest that you rest for a long while in the book of Ruth?” She went on to tell how God had brought so much healing to her from Ruth. I knew then that God had been trying to tell me for several weeks that he wanted me to “rest for a long while” with His beloved Ruth. So the next morning I sent Jennifer a text asking what study she was doing. She told me all about the Kelly Minter study and how much she was enjoying it. I got online and ordered it that day. I called Lori, asked if she was interested in doing the study with me. She was, so we embarked on Ruth.
I’m not sure how much you know about Ruth so forgive me if I share things you already know. The book is titled Ruth, but it’s also the story of Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law. In the beginning of the book Naomi is married with two sons. Famine drives them from their homeland of Bethlehem to Moab where Naomi’s husband dies. Now think about that for just one minute, you’ve left behind everything and everyone you know, gone to a foreign land, and your husband dies. The one person you depend on the most for your own wellbeing dies. That’s harsh!
Sometime afterward Naomi’s two sons marry and two daughters-in-law join the family. Then not one, but both of Naomi’s sons die. Friends, my heart can’t even stand to think about that. How does a person survive that? These were her ONLY children! First she loses her husband and then BOTH of her children! Really?
So Naomi decides it’s time to go home, back to her homeland where the famine has ended. She heads out on the road and both the daughters-in-law follow. Naomi gives her best argument to make them turn back and Orpah does, but not Ruth. Ruth loves Naomi and will not leave her. One of the most quoted scriptures comes from this part of Ruth when Ruth says to Naomi, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."
Those are some pretty powerful words for a daughter-in-law to say to her mother-in-law, don’t you think? I think it shows the depth of Ruth’s love for Naomi. Ruth’s husband was dead and the one person who loved her man the most, other than her, was his mother. There is comfort in that, in being with people who love the person you’ve lost as much as you do. Not long after Christy’s funeral Josh went home to Texas. I tried to encourage him in that, mostly I tried not to discourage him from moving back there. I wanted what was best for him but he was drawn back here, back to the place where Christy’s family was. If Ruth had remained in Moab where Naomi tried to persuade her to stay with her own family, she would have missed out on so many blessings. If Josh had moved back to Texas, where his family is, he might have missed a huge blessing too.
When Ruth and Naomi arrived at Bethlehem the townswomen were so excited and asked, “Could this be Naomi?” To which Naomi replied, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”
This is one of the places where I needed to ‘rest.’ It’s not hard for me to understand how Naomi felt. Call me Mara, too! And guess what people? It’s okay to feel that way. Our God included it in his word so that we (I) would know that we’re not necessarily hell bound for feeling bitter! Now of course we can’t stay in that place, but it’s okay to be there for a while. Thank you, God, for including Naomi’s bitterness in your word! Honestly, I can’t help but feel like He included this whole book just for me.
After their return to Bethlehem and much about fields, gleaning, threshing floors and kinsman redeemers, Naomi urges Ruth to remarry. Ruth does, she marries her kinsman redeemer, Boaz, and Ruth and Boaz have a son named Obed. The book of Ruth ends with joy and happiness returned by the birth of this baby.
Josh, like Ruth, has found happiness again. Now, I’m not like Naomi in that my next meal did not depend on him finding a new wife. However, I do want him to be happy and I very much want him and Kristen to continue to be an intimate part of our family. I know that may be hard for some of you to understand. Honestly, sometimes it’s even hard for me to understand. That’s why I’m so very glad that God gave me the book of Ruth. It’s all there, every bit of it. And here’s just how beautifully our God works – He directed Kristen to the same study of Ruth at the same time he directed me there. We were doing the Kelly Minter study at the same time. Learning together (though not in the same study group) what God has for us. Now, I don’t know exactly what my relationship with Kirsten is supposed to look like. What I do know is that I love her, she makes that part very easy. She’s a daughter without her mother and I’m a mother without her daughter. Neither of us is looking to replace what’s been removed from us, ever. What we are looking to do is to make our way in this new place we’ve found ourselves in and to bring glory to our God as we do. Please pray for us as we continue to walk this bittersweet journey.
I have hope. It’s so hard to voice that. It feels like a betrayal of Christy. I don’t understand how, after the loss of one of my children, I could be full of hope, but I am. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being called Mara. I don’t want to shut God out and miss His blessings. I want to embrace every blessing He offers, live in those blessings the way I am still able to live in the blessing of Christy. She would never want me to be in such deep mourning that I might miss one of His blessings. She loves me too much for that, I love her too much for that. That little 90 pound spitfire had more hope and strength than anyone I’ve ever known. It's her legacy of those qualities that keep me ever hopeful and fill me with strength.
In remembrance of my sweet girl................
Love to all,
me
