The Day After

Christy,

Yesterday was Mother’s Day and you weren’t here. Yesterday I was okay, today is a different story. I’m not sure why but the ache I feel inside for you has intensified today. I need to see you. The boys did a great job of making my day special, but you were still missing. I want you to come back home. I know that you’re in your eternal home but I want you back here, in your earthly home. I miss you so much.

I try so hard to make sense of all this, but I just can’t. I live every day trusting that God knows exactly what he’s doing but I certainly don’t have a clue what that is. Oh I think I see a lot of it. He’s painting a pretty clear picture right now. I guess I just don’t like it very much. Why couldn’t things have stayed the way they were? We were all happy, living in a world that was almost perfect by our standards.

I know that you’re happy, experiencing a joy that we can only dream of. But all of that doesn’t change the fact that I long for you. A longing that just doesn’t go away, ever. I love you so much it hurts.

I miss you sweetheart and I’m trying hard to hold on. I know that you want all of us to live our lives and love each other as much as possible. We are and we do, it’s just not the same here without you.

Love you,
Mom