Until Death Do Us Part

My head is so full of blog posts that it’s a mess. I’m going to do my best to separate them into something that makes sense.

Saturday was my birthday, my first birthday without Christy since 1979. It really wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be, maybe because I had a very vivid dream about her on Friday night. Many times when I dream about her she doesn’t speak, but she did a lot of talking in this dream. I can’t really say it was a good dream, though not really bad either, but she was so Christy in the dream that when I woke up I REALLY felt like I had been in her presence. When I got up I felt wonderful and even laughed at her reaction (in the dream) to the predicament she had found herself in. I spent the day feeling her love and her closeness, it was almost impossible to feel sad. God blessed me with that and I so appreciate it.

A week ago Saturday was Josh and Kristen’s wedding day. I had a bit of a hard time but was able to hold my composure throughout most of the ceremony. The hardest part for me was the vows. I’ve been to lots of weddings and heard wedding vows many times, but I had never really listened to them. On this day I did, as Josh spoke those words to Kristen I sat with my eyes closed. For some reason I just couldn’t allow myself to watch him making his vow to her. Until the very end…… “until death do us part.” Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. His vow to Christy was only until her death, wow! He vowed to his Lord and to her that he would love, honor and cherish her through sickness and in health, and keep himself only unto her until death parted them. I have never known a man who kept his vow more completely than Josh did. Realizing this in a new light made the rest of the ceremony and day much easier for me. I love you Josh, more than I would ever have thought possible and I truly wish you and Kristen all the happiness this world has to offer. I thank God that he made you to be just who you are! As my girl always reminded me, you are quite special!

Looking ahead to October 11th is extremely difficult. Please continue to pray that God will give me strength. It’s hard for me to think that almost an entire year of my life has passed without Christy. How can that be? Was there really life in these bones before her? Yet, here I am struggling to make it through every milestone while dreading the next.

Please continue to pray for my friend Traci and her family. Her mom is still fighting her battle with cancer and trusting her Lord every step of the way. Let’s all join together asking God for miraculous healing!

Thanks for checking in on me. I have many more blog posts in my head but will save them for another day.

Love to all,
Julie