This past Thursday an angel of the Lord came to Rupp Arena. The angel came to the men’s restroom on what is known here as the purple concourse. The angel came for one of the Lord’s own, His servant Julian Palmer. Julian started working for Lexington Center just shortly after dirt (the beginning of Rupp time). His smile and laughter graced the halls of this establishment for nearly 30 years before he decided to retire. After his retirement, Julian continued to work here for the local union group that moves in and rigs concerts. So, we’ve had the great pleasure of continuing our relationship with Julian.
Julian got up Thursday morning, like so many others, and headed to downtown Lexington. He came in, laughing, smiling and just being the wonderful man we’ve all known and loved for so long. Julian didn’t know this would be the day the Lord would call for him. He went to work just like he always did, but this day was different, this day he wasn’t feeling well so he excused himself and went to the restroom. I think the guys have determined that Joseph was the last one to see Julian alive as he walked away.
RJ was the first to notice that Julian hadn’t returned. He radioed Mike asking him to check the restroom and make sure Julian was okay. Mike went to the restroom on purple and there he found Julian’s body. The angel had already taken Julian Home. Something inside Mike knew this, but it didn’t stop him from trying to revive the man he so dearly loved. The man who had been one of his best friends for so many years. Mike radioed for help and soon there were others there trying desperately to find life in their friend. They worked hard, taking turns trying to push life back into the chest of the man they cared so deeply for. But the angel had already come for Julian, so all of their work couldn’t make a difference.
The EMT’s finally arrived and took over, loading Julian’s body onto a stretcher and whisking him away to the hospital where surely the doctors could bring life back. But the angel had already come for Julian. Julian was already Home.
The last good-byes were said to Julian at his funeral on Monday. What a beautiful, honoring service it was. I have always known that Julian was a Christ follower, but I had no clue how devoted he was to his Lord. Julian was a gentle giant - not big in physical terms, but a giant for the Lord. I know as Julian arrived in heaven and stretched out his arms to hug his Father the Lord was saying to him, “Well done, my good and faithful servant!”
The offices and hallways of Lexington Center are now filled with sorrow and tears. Men crying, trying desperately to get those last images of their beloved friend out of their heads. Somehow, life will get back to normal here. Somehow, these men will smile and laugh again. They have beautiful memories of a wonderful man to help them along the way. They will survive, but these hallways will never hear Julian’s laughter again. He will never walk through that back door with that huge smile on his face. He will be missed for years to come. He will be loved until these men draw their last breath.
My heart breaks for Mike, RJ, Joseph, Jimmy and so many others. Please join me in praying for everyone here at Rupp as we begin to heal.
Praising Him through this storm,
Julie
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Monday, January 17, 2011
My 2010 Movie List
So, I thought I wasn’t going to post my theatre movies this year. But when I started listing them, there were more than I thought there would be - so here goes…………….
Pirate Radio (released in 09 but we saw it in 10) – good movie, the music is awesome.
It’s Complicated (again released in 09, we saw it in 10) – hilarious movie, if you want a good laugh you need to see this movie.
Leap Year – cute movie, love Amy Adams
The Book of Eli – I went to this movie because it was Chris’ turn to pick, ended up really liking it.
Valentine’s Day – good chick flick
Shutter Island – confused me.
The Bounty Hunter – not award winning theatre but I was entertained.
Date Night – Funny!
Death at a Funeral – not really my kind of humor.
Iron Man 2 – enjoyed it.
Letters to Juliet – REALLY liked this one a lot.
Toy Story 3 – I love the Toy Story movies, this one might be my favorite.
Grown Ups – surprised by how much I liked this one.
Salt – Not a fan of Angelina but I really liked this movie.
Dinner for Schmucks – no comment
Eat Pray Love – didn’t really like the movie but it was visually beautiful.
The Expendables – it was Chris’ turn again, violent but okay – I guess.
The Switch – I liked it.
The Town – Okay, I really liked this movie but I really hate it when movies make you root for the bad guy. The Town does that.
The Social Network – as an avid facebooker I had to see this. It’s a disturbing true story, but I really liked the movie.
Secretariat – I LOVED this movie! It probably helps that I was a huge Secretariat fan back when he ran (and won) the Triple Crown. I really, REALLY loved this movie.
Red – not a huge Bruce Willis Fan but I really liked it.
There you have it. I’ve already seen three movies this year so hopefully my 2011 list will be a little longer.
Hoping you enjoy your theatre experiences this year,
Julie
Pirate Radio (released in 09 but we saw it in 10) – good movie, the music is awesome.
It’s Complicated (again released in 09, we saw it in 10) – hilarious movie, if you want a good laugh you need to see this movie.
Leap Year – cute movie, love Amy Adams
The Book of Eli – I went to this movie because it was Chris’ turn to pick, ended up really liking it.
Valentine’s Day – good chick flick
Shutter Island – confused me.
The Bounty Hunter – not award winning theatre but I was entertained.
Date Night – Funny!
Death at a Funeral – not really my kind of humor.
Iron Man 2 – enjoyed it.
Letters to Juliet – REALLY liked this one a lot.
Toy Story 3 – I love the Toy Story movies, this one might be my favorite.
Grown Ups – surprised by how much I liked this one.
Salt – Not a fan of Angelina but I really liked this movie.
Dinner for Schmucks – no comment
Eat Pray Love – didn’t really like the movie but it was visually beautiful.
The Expendables – it was Chris’ turn again, violent but okay – I guess.
The Switch – I liked it.
The Town – Okay, I really liked this movie but I really hate it when movies make you root for the bad guy. The Town does that.
The Social Network – as an avid facebooker I had to see this. It’s a disturbing true story, but I really liked the movie.
Secretariat – I LOVED this movie! It probably helps that I was a huge Secretariat fan back when he ran (and won) the Triple Crown. I really, REALLY loved this movie.
Red – not a huge Bruce Willis Fan but I really liked it.
There you have it. I’ve already seen three movies this year so hopefully my 2011 list will be a little longer.
Hoping you enjoy your theatre experiences this year,
Julie
Monday, January 10, 2011
Thank You!
Please allow me to begin by telling you how sorry I am that this thank you is so late in coming. We have had a very busy end of the year – start of the New Year. As many of you know God so graciously blessed me, Chris and Kyle with a Thanksgiving trip to Hawaii. I can’t tell you how grateful we are and how much we needed this vacation. We were in awe of the beauty surrounding us. God used that week to show us His beauty and to renew our spirits and our closeness. We are truly blessed.
The night before we left for our amazing vacation we received some wonderful news. Josh and Kristen are having a baby! I am honored and humbled that they have asked me to be Grammy. I am in tears just typing this out. I can’t even begin to articulate just what this means to me. I am so grateful and pray that God will grow me in the new role He has called me to. Thank you Josh and Kristen, that sounds kind of inadequate but it’s all I know to say. I love you.
On December 10th Josh graduated from seminary. Again, what a blessing it was to see him walk across that stage and receive his Masters of Divinity. It has been a very long and hard road he has traveled and God has truly blessed him. We are incredibly proud of you, Josh.
And on December 18th Kyle FINALLY received his Bachelor’s degree from Eastern Kentucky University!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!! Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! It was a long few years for Kyle too, but he persevered and his Momma is so proud of him. He has finally entered the world of full-time employment. :)
On December 20th we delivered Christy’s Stocking to Kentucky Children’s Hospital. This has truly become the highlight of my Christmas season. I can’t even begin to tell you how much joy it brings me to deliver this wonderful gift each year. I also can’t begin to thank you enough for your participation in keeping Christy’s spirit alive. You have no idea how much it means to me. I know that many of you give out of your love for Christy, that’s exactly why it means so much to me. This year we delivered stuffed animals, books and DVD’s. Plus, gift cards and cash totaling $2130.00. WOW! You are amazing and wonderful. Many have asked me how long we plan to keep Christy’s Stocking going. Well, that’s in the Lord’s hands. As long as he keeps prompting you to give, we’ll keep making our annual delivery. Again, thank you from the bottom of a mother’s heart. I appreciate and love all of you.
Like all of you, we spent Christmas celebrating the birth of our Lord and our love for our families. We had an awesome Christmas and pray that each of you did as well. I spent much of the holiday sick. First a cold, then the AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL four day stomach bug, and then another cold. I’ve had it with being sick! That’s part of the reason my thank you is so late this year.
Hopefully life can calm down a bit now as we anticipate the birth of a precious baby.
Blessings to all,
Grammy J
The night before we left for our amazing vacation we received some wonderful news. Josh and Kristen are having a baby! I am honored and humbled that they have asked me to be Grammy. I am in tears just typing this out. I can’t even begin to articulate just what this means to me. I am so grateful and pray that God will grow me in the new role He has called me to. Thank you Josh and Kristen, that sounds kind of inadequate but it’s all I know to say. I love you.
On December 10th Josh graduated from seminary. Again, what a blessing it was to see him walk across that stage and receive his Masters of Divinity. It has been a very long and hard road he has traveled and God has truly blessed him. We are incredibly proud of you, Josh.
And on December 18th Kyle FINALLY received his Bachelor’s degree from Eastern Kentucky University!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!! Hallelujah and Praise the Lord! It was a long few years for Kyle too, but he persevered and his Momma is so proud of him. He has finally entered the world of full-time employment. :)
On December 20th we delivered Christy’s Stocking to Kentucky Children’s Hospital. This has truly become the highlight of my Christmas season. I can’t even begin to tell you how much joy it brings me to deliver this wonderful gift each year. I also can’t begin to thank you enough for your participation in keeping Christy’s spirit alive. You have no idea how much it means to me. I know that many of you give out of your love for Christy, that’s exactly why it means so much to me. This year we delivered stuffed animals, books and DVD’s. Plus, gift cards and cash totaling $2130.00. WOW! You are amazing and wonderful. Many have asked me how long we plan to keep Christy’s Stocking going. Well, that’s in the Lord’s hands. As long as he keeps prompting you to give, we’ll keep making our annual delivery. Again, thank you from the bottom of a mother’s heart. I appreciate and love all of you.
Like all of you, we spent Christmas celebrating the birth of our Lord and our love for our families. We had an awesome Christmas and pray that each of you did as well. I spent much of the holiday sick. First a cold, then the AWFUL, AWFUL, AWFUL four day stomach bug, and then another cold. I’ve had it with being sick! That’s part of the reason my thank you is so late this year.
Hopefully life can calm down a bit now as we anticipate the birth of a precious baby.
Blessings to all,
Grammy J
Friday, November 26, 2010
Christy's Stocking
Dear Friends and Family,
It’s hard to imagine that the Christmas season is already here! It seems like it’s only been a couple of months since we packed up last Christmas. However, it’s here and it’s time once again to think about Christy’s Stocking! It’s both exciting and difficult for us to think that this will be our third annual stocking delivery. Even more difficult is the thought that we will be celebrating another Christmas without Christy. Our hearts are not healed but we will celebrate again this year with love and joy.
Once again we are asking for your help to fill Christy’s Stocking with goodies for families who are suffering and in need. Each year we have delivered an overflowing stocking to Children’s Hospital and we hope to be able to do the same again this year. Your donations of gift cards, children’s books and DVD’s will be used to bring smiles to the faces of children who are not only needy, but facing the holiday in the hospital. Your gift will help put a smile on the face of a child who desperately needs something to smile about.
As in past years, we are seeking gift cards from restaurants (fast food or sit-down), gas stations, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Kroger, Meijer, etc. Also children’s books and appropriate DVD’s for children. Please remember when making your selections that the hospital has children of all ages, from infants to teenagers.
Many of you have asked about filling in the “To” & “From” information on the gift cards. If you wish to do this we have always written on each card – “To: Someone Very Special” - “From: Christy’s Stocking”. We try to be sensitive and stay away from “In Memory Of” since many of the families who benefit from your donations have a child with a terminal illness.
In an effort to make things as easy as possible for the accounting staff at Children’s Hospital would you please include with your gift - your name, complete mailing address and the value of your donation so that the hospital can mail you a receipt, which you can use for income tax purposes. Please note that your donation conformation letter will be addressed to you from The University of Kentucky.
Donations can be mailed to:
Christy’s Stocking
c/o The Wells Family
104 Millhouse Drive
Nicholasville KY 40356
Please feel free to drop off your donation, or call and one of us will gladly pick it up from you. We will be delivering Christy’s Stocking to Children’s Hospital on December 20th, so we would appreciate receipt of your donations before that date.
Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude for each of you. Your willingness to come along side us in keeping Christy’s spirit alive brings us so much joy! Thank you for helping us honor the life that Christy lived so beautifully. Her love of children, especially those hurting, can continue through your efforts.
Merry Christmas,
Chris, Julie & Kyle
Josh & Kristen
It’s hard to imagine that the Christmas season is already here! It seems like it’s only been a couple of months since we packed up last Christmas. However, it’s here and it’s time once again to think about Christy’s Stocking! It’s both exciting and difficult for us to think that this will be our third annual stocking delivery. Even more difficult is the thought that we will be celebrating another Christmas without Christy. Our hearts are not healed but we will celebrate again this year with love and joy.
Once again we are asking for your help to fill Christy’s Stocking with goodies for families who are suffering and in need. Each year we have delivered an overflowing stocking to Children’s Hospital and we hope to be able to do the same again this year. Your donations of gift cards, children’s books and DVD’s will be used to bring smiles to the faces of children who are not only needy, but facing the holiday in the hospital. Your gift will help put a smile on the face of a child who desperately needs something to smile about.
As in past years, we are seeking gift cards from restaurants (fast food or sit-down), gas stations, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Kroger, Meijer, etc. Also children’s books and appropriate DVD’s for children. Please remember when making your selections that the hospital has children of all ages, from infants to teenagers.
Many of you have asked about filling in the “To” & “From” information on the gift cards. If you wish to do this we have always written on each card – “To: Someone Very Special” - “From: Christy’s Stocking”. We try to be sensitive and stay away from “In Memory Of” since many of the families who benefit from your donations have a child with a terminal illness.
In an effort to make things as easy as possible for the accounting staff at Children’s Hospital would you please include with your gift - your name, complete mailing address and the value of your donation so that the hospital can mail you a receipt, which you can use for income tax purposes. Please note that your donation conformation letter will be addressed to you from The University of Kentucky.
Donations can be mailed to:
Christy’s Stocking
c/o The Wells Family
104 Millhouse Drive
Nicholasville KY 40356
Please feel free to drop off your donation, or call and one of us will gladly pick it up from you. We will be delivering Christy’s Stocking to Children’s Hospital on December 20th, so we would appreciate receipt of your donations before that date.
Our hearts are overflowing with gratitude for each of you. Your willingness to come along side us in keeping Christy’s spirit alive brings us so much joy! Thank you for helping us honor the life that Christy lived so beautifully. Her love of children, especially those hurting, can continue through your efforts.
Merry Christmas,
Chris, Julie & Kyle
Josh & Kristen
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Place for You
Over the past couple of years I’ve been asked to write a few devotionals for booklets that have been printed for various women’s events at my church. I stumbled across one today and thought I would share it with you. I’m not sure when I wrote this but I think it must have been leading up to Easter.
A Place for You
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4 (NIV)
In April of 1980 I was a young woman about to go through a life changing experience. After 39 hours of labor I gave birth to a 7 pound 6 ounce screaming bundle of joy. As most mothers know there were nights without sleep and days that seemed to last forever, and those were only the first couple of years. Christy grew into a typical teenager, full of excitement over a cute boy one minute and devastated by a bad hair day the next. She graduated from high school and moved out for college. Then she met her prince charming. They married and started their life together living in seminary housing. God called them to a small country church where Christy flourished, she always felt most comfortable when she was surrounded by ‘home folk.’ Life couldn’t have been much better as Chris and I were anxiously awaiting news of grandbabies to spoil. My only prayer was for the arthritis that had ravished Christy’s body to be miraculously and wondrously healed.
Then, on October 11, 2008 at 8:45pm, Christy left us for the place He had prepared for her. The place where she is miraculously and wondrously healed! The place where she will forever be joyful in the presence of her Lord. You see, Christy knew the Way. She knew him intimately and loved him fully. Our earthly lives have been forever changed by this tremendous loss, but we certainly have great hope. Our hearts will never cease crying for Christy’s earthly presence, but we can look forward to a future and the promise Jesus gave us. He was speaking to us as well as to his disciples in the 14th chapter of John. Our hearts must not be troubled for He has prepared a place for each of us who are called to be sons and daughters of God.
Father, I thank you so much for the gift of Christy and the 28 wonderful years you shared her with us. Thank you Jesus for going to prepare a place for us. For the promise of coming back for us so that we can live our eternity in your presence. Amen.
Hau’oli La Ho’omakika’I
Me ke Aloha,
Julie
A Place for You
“Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4 (NIV)
In April of 1980 I was a young woman about to go through a life changing experience. After 39 hours of labor I gave birth to a 7 pound 6 ounce screaming bundle of joy. As most mothers know there were nights without sleep and days that seemed to last forever, and those were only the first couple of years. Christy grew into a typical teenager, full of excitement over a cute boy one minute and devastated by a bad hair day the next. She graduated from high school and moved out for college. Then she met her prince charming. They married and started their life together living in seminary housing. God called them to a small country church where Christy flourished, she always felt most comfortable when she was surrounded by ‘home folk.’ Life couldn’t have been much better as Chris and I were anxiously awaiting news of grandbabies to spoil. My only prayer was for the arthritis that had ravished Christy’s body to be miraculously and wondrously healed.
Then, on October 11, 2008 at 8:45pm, Christy left us for the place He had prepared for her. The place where she is miraculously and wondrously healed! The place where she will forever be joyful in the presence of her Lord. You see, Christy knew the Way. She knew him intimately and loved him fully. Our earthly lives have been forever changed by this tremendous loss, but we certainly have great hope. Our hearts will never cease crying for Christy’s earthly presence, but we can look forward to a future and the promise Jesus gave us. He was speaking to us as well as to his disciples in the 14th chapter of John. Our hearts must not be troubled for He has prepared a place for each of us who are called to be sons and daughters of God.
Father, I thank you so much for the gift of Christy and the 28 wonderful years you shared her with us. Thank you Jesus for going to prepare a place for us. For the promise of coming back for us so that we can live our eternity in your presence. Amen.
Hau’oli La Ho’omakika’I
Me ke Aloha,
Julie
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Resting in Ruth
I have recently finished doing an excellent Bible study by Kelly Minter. The Living Room Series Ruth - loss, love & legacy. If you have ever loved someone, I highly recommend this study for you.
I have done many Beth Moore studies, I just love her ability to make God’s Word come to life, but I have to say - this study of Ruth has been the best Bible study I’ve ever done. Perhaps it’s because it’s the one I’ve most needed. I will tell you this as a word of warning – when I did day two of session four I cried through the ENTIRE lesson and for two hours afterward. As a matter of fact, I cried myself to sleep. It was simply gut-wrenching.
I didn’t stumble on Ruth by accident, God guided me straight to her. Ruth has always been my favorite book of the Bible. Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story? And to me that’s always what Ruth was, a love story. Oh, it is still an amazing love story but it’s also a story of love that grows from the roots of great pain and heartache. It’s funny how you can just skim over pain and heartache until you’ve lived it, then you can never skim over it again.
I don’t even remember who asked me one day a few months back, what my favorite book of the Bible is. Of course, I immediately said Ruth. Then maybe a week or so later I found out that Jennifer was doing a study on the book of Ruth. I remember thinking then how much I loved Ruth. Then there seemed to be more chatter about Ruth, I think Lori mentioned Jennifer’s study. Then came the eye opener! The last Thursday of each month I attend a grief gathering for mothers who have lost children. On this particular night we had a speaker who is a grief counselor and who has also lost a two year old granddaughter. She spoke in a way that made me feel like she was looking at my brain and reading my thoughts to the room!!!! One of the last things she did was read some scripture from the book of Ruth. She closed her Bible, placed her arms on it and said, “Ladies, may I suggest that you rest for a long while in the book of Ruth?” She went on to tell how God had brought so much healing to her from Ruth. I knew then that God had been trying to tell me for several weeks that he wanted me to “rest for a long while” with His beloved Ruth. So the next morning I sent Jennifer a text asking what study she was doing. She told me all about the Kelly Minter study and how much she was enjoying it. I got online and ordered it that day. I called Lori, asked if she was interested in doing the study with me. She was, so we embarked on Ruth.
I’m not sure how much you know about Ruth so forgive me if I share things you already know. The book is titled Ruth, but it’s also the story of Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law. In the beginning of the book Naomi is married with two sons. Famine drives them from their homeland of Bethlehem to Moab where Naomi’s husband dies. Now think about that for just one minute, you’ve left behind everything and everyone you know, gone to a foreign land, and your husband dies. The one person you depend on the most for your own wellbeing dies. That’s harsh!
Sometime afterward Naomi’s two sons marry and two daughters-in-law join the family. Then not one, but both of Naomi’s sons die. Friends, my heart can’t even stand to think about that. How does a person survive that? These were her ONLY children! First she loses her husband and then BOTH of her children! Really?
So Naomi decides it’s time to go home, back to her homeland where the famine has ended. She heads out on the road and both the daughters-in-law follow. Naomi gives her best argument to make them turn back and Orpah does, but not Ruth. Ruth loves Naomi and will not leave her. One of the most quoted scriptures comes from this part of Ruth when Ruth says to Naomi, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."
Those are some pretty powerful words for a daughter-in-law to say to her mother-in-law, don’t you think? I think it shows the depth of Ruth’s love for Naomi. Ruth’s husband was dead and the one person who loved her man the most, other than her, was his mother. There is comfort in that, in being with people who love the person you’ve lost as much as you do. Not long after Christy’s funeral Josh went home to Texas. I tried to encourage him in that, mostly I tried not to discourage him from moving back there. I wanted what was best for him but he was drawn back here, back to the place where Christy’s family was. If Ruth had remained in Moab where Naomi tried to persuade her to stay with her own family, she would have missed out on so many blessings. If Josh had moved back to Texas, where his family is, he might have missed a huge blessing too.
When Ruth and Naomi arrived at Bethlehem the townswomen were so excited and asked, “Could this be Naomi?” To which Naomi replied, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”
This is one of the places where I needed to ‘rest.’ It’s not hard for me to understand how Naomi felt. Call me Mara, too! And guess what people? It’s okay to feel that way. Our God included it in his word so that we (I) would know that we’re not necessarily hell bound for feeling bitter! Now of course we can’t stay in that place, but it’s okay to be there for a while. Thank you, God, for including Naomi’s bitterness in your word! Honestly, I can’t help but feel like He included this whole book just for me.
After their return to Bethlehem and much about fields, gleaning, threshing floors and kinsman redeemers, Naomi urges Ruth to remarry. Ruth does, she marries her kinsman redeemer, Boaz, and Ruth and Boaz have a son named Obed. The book of Ruth ends with joy and happiness returned by the birth of this baby.
Josh, like Ruth, has found happiness again. Now, I’m not like Naomi in that my next meal did not depend on him finding a new wife. However, I do want him to be happy and I very much want him and Kristen to continue to be an intimate part of our family. I know that may be hard for some of you to understand. Honestly, sometimes it’s even hard for me to understand. That’s why I’m so very glad that God gave me the book of Ruth. It’s all there, every bit of it. And here’s just how beautifully our God works – He directed Kristen to the same study of Ruth at the same time he directed me there. We were doing the Kelly Minter study at the same time. Learning together (though not in the same study group) what God has for us. Now, I don’t know exactly what my relationship with Kirsten is supposed to look like. What I do know is that I love her, she makes that part very easy. She’s a daughter without her mother and I’m a mother without her daughter. Neither of us is looking to replace what’s been removed from us, ever. What we are looking to do is to make our way in this new place we’ve found ourselves in and to bring glory to our God as we do. Please pray for us as we continue to walk this bittersweet journey.
I have hope. It’s so hard to voice that. It feels like a betrayal of Christy. I don’t understand how, after the loss of one of my children, I could be full of hope, but I am. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being called Mara. I don’t want to shut God out and miss His blessings. I want to embrace every blessing He offers, live in those blessings the way I am still able to live in the blessing of Christy. She would never want me to be in such deep mourning that I might miss one of His blessings. She loves me too much for that, I love her too much for that. That little 90 pound spitfire had more hope and strength than anyone I’ve ever known. It's her legacy of those qualities that keep me ever hopeful and fill me with strength.
I have done many Beth Moore studies, I just love her ability to make God’s Word come to life, but I have to say - this study of Ruth has been the best Bible study I’ve ever done. Perhaps it’s because it’s the one I’ve most needed. I will tell you this as a word of warning – when I did day two of session four I cried through the ENTIRE lesson and for two hours afterward. As a matter of fact, I cried myself to sleep. It was simply gut-wrenching.
I didn’t stumble on Ruth by accident, God guided me straight to her. Ruth has always been my favorite book of the Bible. Who doesn’t enjoy a good love story? And to me that’s always what Ruth was, a love story. Oh, it is still an amazing love story but it’s also a story of love that grows from the roots of great pain and heartache. It’s funny how you can just skim over pain and heartache until you’ve lived it, then you can never skim over it again.
I don’t even remember who asked me one day a few months back, what my favorite book of the Bible is. Of course, I immediately said Ruth. Then maybe a week or so later I found out that Jennifer was doing a study on the book of Ruth. I remember thinking then how much I loved Ruth. Then there seemed to be more chatter about Ruth, I think Lori mentioned Jennifer’s study. Then came the eye opener! The last Thursday of each month I attend a grief gathering for mothers who have lost children. On this particular night we had a speaker who is a grief counselor and who has also lost a two year old granddaughter. She spoke in a way that made me feel like she was looking at my brain and reading my thoughts to the room!!!! One of the last things she did was read some scripture from the book of Ruth. She closed her Bible, placed her arms on it and said, “Ladies, may I suggest that you rest for a long while in the book of Ruth?” She went on to tell how God had brought so much healing to her from Ruth. I knew then that God had been trying to tell me for several weeks that he wanted me to “rest for a long while” with His beloved Ruth. So the next morning I sent Jennifer a text asking what study she was doing. She told me all about the Kelly Minter study and how much she was enjoying it. I got online and ordered it that day. I called Lori, asked if she was interested in doing the study with me. She was, so we embarked on Ruth.
I’m not sure how much you know about Ruth so forgive me if I share things you already know. The book is titled Ruth, but it’s also the story of Naomi, Ruth’s mother-in-law. In the beginning of the book Naomi is married with two sons. Famine drives them from their homeland of Bethlehem to Moab where Naomi’s husband dies. Now think about that for just one minute, you’ve left behind everything and everyone you know, gone to a foreign land, and your husband dies. The one person you depend on the most for your own wellbeing dies. That’s harsh!
Sometime afterward Naomi’s two sons marry and two daughters-in-law join the family. Then not one, but both of Naomi’s sons die. Friends, my heart can’t even stand to think about that. How does a person survive that? These were her ONLY children! First she loses her husband and then BOTH of her children! Really?
So Naomi decides it’s time to go home, back to her homeland where the famine has ended. She heads out on the road and both the daughters-in-law follow. Naomi gives her best argument to make them turn back and Orpah does, but not Ruth. Ruth loves Naomi and will not leave her. One of the most quoted scriptures comes from this part of Ruth when Ruth says to Naomi, “Don't urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Where you die I will die, and there I will be buried. May the LORD deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."
Those are some pretty powerful words for a daughter-in-law to say to her mother-in-law, don’t you think? I think it shows the depth of Ruth’s love for Naomi. Ruth’s husband was dead and the one person who loved her man the most, other than her, was his mother. There is comfort in that, in being with people who love the person you’ve lost as much as you do. Not long after Christy’s funeral Josh went home to Texas. I tried to encourage him in that, mostly I tried not to discourage him from moving back there. I wanted what was best for him but he was drawn back here, back to the place where Christy’s family was. If Ruth had remained in Moab where Naomi tried to persuade her to stay with her own family, she would have missed out on so many blessings. If Josh had moved back to Texas, where his family is, he might have missed a huge blessing too.
When Ruth and Naomi arrived at Bethlehem the townswomen were so excited and asked, “Could this be Naomi?” To which Naomi replied, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the LORD has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The LORD has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.”
This is one of the places where I needed to ‘rest.’ It’s not hard for me to understand how Naomi felt. Call me Mara, too! And guess what people? It’s okay to feel that way. Our God included it in his word so that we (I) would know that we’re not necessarily hell bound for feeling bitter! Now of course we can’t stay in that place, but it’s okay to be there for a while. Thank you, God, for including Naomi’s bitterness in your word! Honestly, I can’t help but feel like He included this whole book just for me.
After their return to Bethlehem and much about fields, gleaning, threshing floors and kinsman redeemers, Naomi urges Ruth to remarry. Ruth does, she marries her kinsman redeemer, Boaz, and Ruth and Boaz have a son named Obed. The book of Ruth ends with joy and happiness returned by the birth of this baby.
Josh, like Ruth, has found happiness again. Now, I’m not like Naomi in that my next meal did not depend on him finding a new wife. However, I do want him to be happy and I very much want him and Kristen to continue to be an intimate part of our family. I know that may be hard for some of you to understand. Honestly, sometimes it’s even hard for me to understand. That’s why I’m so very glad that God gave me the book of Ruth. It’s all there, every bit of it. And here’s just how beautifully our God works – He directed Kristen to the same study of Ruth at the same time he directed me there. We were doing the Kelly Minter study at the same time. Learning together (though not in the same study group) what God has for us. Now, I don’t know exactly what my relationship with Kirsten is supposed to look like. What I do know is that I love her, she makes that part very easy. She’s a daughter without her mother and I’m a mother without her daughter. Neither of us is looking to replace what’s been removed from us, ever. What we are looking to do is to make our way in this new place we’ve found ourselves in and to bring glory to our God as we do. Please pray for us as we continue to walk this bittersweet journey.
I have hope. It’s so hard to voice that. It feels like a betrayal of Christy. I don’t understand how, after the loss of one of my children, I could be full of hope, but I am. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being called Mara. I don’t want to shut God out and miss His blessings. I want to embrace every blessing He offers, live in those blessings the way I am still able to live in the blessing of Christy. She would never want me to be in such deep mourning that I might miss one of His blessings. She loves me too much for that, I love her too much for that. That little 90 pound spitfire had more hope and strength than anyone I’ve ever known. It's her legacy of those qualities that keep me ever hopeful and fill me with strength.
In remembrance of my sweet girl................
Love to all,
me
Monday, October 11, 2010
October 11, 2010
Two years. Today I remember.......................
http://s1108.photobucket.com/albums/h401/jwells1961/Christy/?albumview=slideshow
I couldn't get this to load the way I wanted it to but you can view the slideshow by clicking the link.
http://s1108.photobucket.com/albums/h401/jwells1961/Christy/?albumview=slideshow
I couldn't get this to load the way I wanted it to but you can view the slideshow by clicking the link.
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